Today is one of those days that I would like to simply go back to bed. Put the kids back to bed and hope they wake up in better moods next time, since if we have to continue in the manner today has gone, I will no longer be borderline crazy, but full-out certifiable by noon.
Here's something they don't teach you. If you have twins, and you find one twin is beating the other twin over the head with a flashlight, which twin do you address first? Do you first remove the beater, put him in time-out with a stern warning, and go back to the twin who is now crying "owie" hysterically and wondering why everyone abandoned him? Or do you attend to the injured twin first, consoling him since he was just beaten repeatedly on the head, allowing the offender to run away and start beating his sister?
If one twin suddenly does a flying leap, landing arms and legs flailing on his sister's face and not letting go, do you first peel him off sissy's face, or do you intervene with the twin who is trying to shove things in the VCR?
Unfortunately, these are not hypotheticals. This is my morning so far. The only reason I am able to write right now is because I put in ET and gave them all waffles. It has taken 45 minutes to write four paragraphs. I don't think I'll be getting a shower today...