Thursday, May 27, 2010

Looking Up

Things are looking up around here.

Ben's doctor appointment went well. His knee pain seems to be either injury related or some virus in his body that is causing his cough is also showing itself in his joints and causing the limp. By the time I got him to the doctor yesterday, he was much better and barely limping at all.

Thank you, Lord!

Infections like Grant had do not ebb and flow, they just get progressively worse, so it is very highly unlikely that Ben has the same thing. I am so very grateful.

Marty's Facebook status from last night reads:
Dear Emma, Monday we took Grant to the Dr. for his follow up appointment, Tuesday Drew went to the Dr. with Pnuemonia, and today Ben went to get his leg checked out.......Good luck tomorrow sweetheart!

Yeah, that's about how we feel. Luckily, Emma has been healthy as a horse through this whole thing. To the extent that on our way to the doctor on Tuesday, she mentioned to me the wonderful fact that we really don't go to the doctor that often, and isn't that a good thing that our family is so healthy we don't have to go to the doctor much at all? After I finished laughing, I explained to her that she doesn't go the doctor that often, but think of all the times she gets to play with Grandma or Auntie or Daddy while Mommy is gone with one of the boys.

I truly love that she is oblivious to it all.

I got Drew's medicine re-flavored yesterday, and he is taking it finally. He was in rough shape yesterday, we kept his fever down around 101 with Motrin, but his little voice was all scratchy and his cough sounded horrid. He was in good spirits, and we decided to call him the Marlboro baby, we all laughed at the cute little thirty-year-smoker voice.

We have Grant's follow ups at Children's tomorrow, so we will be gone all day. We are going camping this weekend, and I haven't even started packing/meal planning/grocery shopping/list making/activity thinking/swimsuit finding/flashlight unearthing/battery buying/tent finding/van loading and everything else.

I gotta lot to do today. And it's supposed to rain this weekend, and we are tenting it. I have images of fun, memory making, bonding family time. I am sincerely hoping I am not completely delusional about fun times with six people in a tent in the rain.

Have a great day, everyone, I gotta get working!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Things That Make You Cry Like A Baby

The last two days have been rough.

Night before last Drew had a fever of 104.6. I took him to the doctor and found that he has a very early case of pneumonia. Perfect, just what we need. Fan-freaking-tastic.

I had all four kids with me at the doctor, because I have been abusing my babysitters lately and I knew we were needing them again soon for follow up appointments for Grant, so I wanted to not call on them. We rely on family to babysit, because we cannot afford to pay sitters, so we have to be careful not to over-work them. I want people to want to watch my kids, not to ignore my calls. :)

We headed to Target to fill the prescription for Drew, and to re-fill Grant's antibiotic. Meanwhile, Ben's pull-up leaked and he soaked his jeans. I checked the diaper bag and found fourteen sweatshirts, but no pants for any child.


Suddenly, I felt an impression on my heart. This is often how God speaks to me, so I try to listen.

"Erin will come to your rescue."

I perked up. Erin is one of my Girl's Night girlfriends, and she is fabulous. It's a small town, and I run into her all the time, so maybe she was at Target, and could stay in the car with my kids while I ran in. I started driving through the parking lot, looking for her van.

Erin wasn't there.

I kept my eye out, but she really, truly wasn't there. Maybe I was wrong. I decided to just change Ben's pull-up, put his wet jeans back on, and stick him in the backseat of the stroller where no one would see. I parked, got out of the car and went to go get the stroller.

Guess what I saw as soon as I opened the back of the van? Oh, yeah, when we had Girl's Night last week, Erin had put a box of outgrown boys clothes in my van for the twins. Right on top were several pairs of shorts, in the perfect size for Ben.

Erin cane to my rescue.

I wonder how often that happens, where I miss what God is telling me because I am looking for Him to save me in the way that I think He should. If I hadn't gotten out of the van, if I had given up and just gone home, I would never have seen the box. But it worked out better this way, where I could get Ben out of his wet pants and into the store, where it took more than twenty minutes to get the prescription, and even at that we couldn't get Grant's till today.

Thank you, Erin, you are fabulous! Thank you for saving me yesterday!

OK, things were looking up, right?


Ben started limping through Target yesterday. Not Grant, the one with Myositis, but Ben, the other twin. Limping in the exact same way that Grant started.

Talk about wanting to curl up in the fetal position and cry, right on aisle C3.

Ben limped all afternoon and evening yesterday, and is still limping this morning. His knee is slightly swollen, and I think it is warmer on the sore side, which is indicative of infection.

You have got to be FREAKING kidding me.

We just went through thins with Grant. How is it even possible that two kids in the same family could possibly get the same, rare, not-contagious thing? Is there something wrong with our house? Is there something in our water? Our yard? Our kids eat very well, they are healthy for the most part, but we have had the strangest string of infection this past year. From Grant's pneumonia in October, Drew's pneumonia now (which he hasn't even had a cold lately!) And Grant's Myositis, and now Ben's whatever is going on, I am really starting to be concerned.

So I'll pray.

Because My God is bigger than any of it. He knows what is going on, and He can help me fix it. If He can tell me exactly who is going to help me out when I forget to properly pack the diaper bag, He will certainly help me with this, I just have to stop telling Him what is wrong long enough to listen.

In order to hear God speak, you have to shut up. This is what I struggle with the most lately.

Will you pray for us today? We need it desperately.

Thank you, dear friends. You are wonderful!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Strangeness and Sticky Slugs

I know, I'm being a bad blogger again.

I have a lot to say, in fact I have several posts going in which I can't seem to wrap up any of them. I'm exhausted, I'm behind on the laundry, and I am really enjoying playing outside with the kids. I have a hard time with telling Ben, "No, buddy, I can't play with you, I'm blogging."

So I keep walking away before I finish a post, and nothing gets published.

The kids are playing outside right now, and I have the door open. The computer is literally four feet from the front door, so i can keep an eye and an ear on what is going on. Ben just came to the door and asked if he could bring his slug inside.

Not just any slug, but a dead, sticky baby slug that Grant beat with Emma's baseball bat. I'm not sure if it was alive before that, but it's sure dead now.

Ben still loves his baby slug, and is carrying it around with him.

I'm telling ya, my kids are strange.

Grant had a follow up with the local doctor yesterday, and he is doing great. the doctor was very impressed with his progress, and is still baffled by the whole Myositis to begin with.

Yup, that's us, baffling doctors and loving slugs.

Drew was fussy yesterday, and at eleven last night woke up for the umpteenth time. I took his temp and found he was 104.6. I know, some parents would immediately rush their kids to the ER, but not us. We're so used to stuff like this that I gave him a bath, some drugs, and watched his temp go down. I put him to bed a little after midnight with a fever of 101, and called the doc this morning to have him seen this afternoon.

What is normal has shifted. What was scary isn't as much anymore. If the kid is giggling, and isn't breathing hard or looking especially sick, he's going to be fine till morning.

Oh, and I need to do a better job of stocking my medicine cabinet. I had just bought more Motrin, but had bought Children's instead of Infant's. So I had no bottles of Infant's Motrin, but three bottles of Children's. Fan-freaking-tastic. Luckily, the Tylenol worked.

We are headed to our home away from home back to the doctor's office this afternoon. I'm going to tell my doctor today that I expect to be invited to his kids' college graduation, so I can appreciate what I paid for.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Friday Facts

Thankful for: the fact that my family is home and all together. Thankful that things are slowly getting back to normal. Thankful that our family and friends are so incredibly awesome and have helped us out so much.

Looking forward to: I am really looking forward to Memorial Day weekend. It is the kick start of summer, Amy and I have our first wedding of the year together, and it's gonna be awesome. We are actually thinking the kids are all old enough to go camping. In a tent. Ohhh, yeah.

Listening to: Grant is hiding from Ben, but Ben isn't looking for him. Ben is trying to trace his feet on the magna-doodle, but he's not too skilled at that yet. Drew is still sitting in his chair, eating breakfast. I am LOVING the quiet that is here right now.

OK, that didn't last. We suddenly heard a huge rumble and ran outside to see that the neighbors had a dump truck unloading gravel at the edge of the pond. We have a huge pond on our property that is actually shared by three neighbors, and the ones who have the biggest hunk of it are doing a little pond-remodeling project. We are very interested in seeing how it all turns out.


The boys were so into seeing the dump truck that after it left, we hung out there for a while watching a backhoe move stuff around, and then we looked closely at a big slug, and then into the yard to play and ended with a walk through the spooky woods. And as we passed the holly bushes, I was reminded once again that "We no eat the berries, or we die and go to heaven." To which I wanted to drive home the lesson, "Well, you might not die, you might just get really sick and hurt a lot and have to go to the hospital but you won't be able to play in the playroom because you'll be so sick." I really don't want them going to Sunday School and having their teacher teach about how great heaven is and having them think, "That sounds fun! hey, I know how to get there!", and then have them eat a ton of holly berries in an attempt to go to to the greatest. place. ever.

Well, that's all I have for Friday Facts today. I want to go play Candy Land with the boys and I can't think of anything that's missing, so I'm off. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Beatings, Beatings, Beatings

We have been home for almost a week. And we are still adjusting.

We were told by several people "in the know" that a stay at a hospital like ours would "completely erase three years of parenting." And they were right.

We were told it wouldn't be permanent, and that we would return to normal quickly. I was expecting we would be back to normal by now, but we aren't. It's a touch frustrating.

"The baby is NOT a horsie, please do NOT try to ride on him."

"Grant, do not hit, please keep your hands to yourself."

"Ben, do not hit, please keep your hands to yourself."

"Drew, do not hit! We use soft hands, OK?"

"Grant, why are you standing on the table? You know that's not OK!"

"Drew, get off the table! Please do not do things just because Grant does."

"GRANT! You may NOT stand on the top of the couch and try to reach the pictures above the window!"

"Grant, do NOT HIT! We use nice, soft hands with people."

"Drew, you must not touch the water dispenser. Yes, you are wet. That's what happens. Do not touch it again."

"Ben, teeth are not for biting. That's not how we show love. Well, even if you are playing kitty, you must keep your teeth to yourself."

"Wait, where's Drew?"

"Drew, get off the train table."

"Grant, go to time out. You do not kick someone just because they hit you."

"Drew, hands off the water dispenser!"

"Grant, please use your words. You may not scream."

(panicking, but speaking softly,) "Ok, Drew, Mommy is going to come over to you, and you need to not run away. There we go, please may I have my camera back? Please, please, please, oh, thank you, baby! Thank you so much for not dropping it!" (and then I collapse into a heap of relief on the floor)

"Who threw up on the piano?!?"


I have gone back to the point of not being able to sneak away for a two minute shower, because I never know what will happen while I am gone for those two minutes. Heck, if I even pee I will come out to a fistfight. It's ridiculous.

They spend more time in time out than out of it. Quite often, they will come out of time out, so their required apology, and hit their sibling again while apologizing for hitting. I want to pull my hair out.

I would like to know who took my sweet, kind, somewhat well behaved children and replaced them with the pint-sized cast of the WWE?

Seriously. It has to stop now.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Path to Eternal Life, Paved In Marinara?

I was a bit flabbergasted last night at dinner when Grant announced to me, "Mommy, if you eat tomatoes, you go to heaven!"

Wait... what?!?

I asked him. "Who told you that, sweetie?"

"Sissie did." And he looked right at her.

I did my best to hide the look that must have been struggling to cross my face. She held up her finger, and I waited for her to finish chewing the bite that was in her mouth. Her head tilted to one side, her body language telling me that she knew exactly what he was talking about, and she wasn't at all ashamed about the lesson she was teaching her poor, innocent, gullible little brothers.

I kept waiting.

"Mom, I told them not to eat the little red berries on the pokey bushes. And if they did, they would die, and then after they die they go to heaven."

OK, that makes sense.

Yes, we have several huge holly bushes, and they still have berries on them. Sometimes it's hard to convince three year old boys not to eat things. I guess Emma did her best.

We're gonna have to work on some spiritual teachings around here, though, lest the boys actually start to believe that salsa saves.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Things We Have Learned

1. It is not fun when your kids are sick and have to be hospitalized. However, Children's Hospital is truly the best place to be in all the land if you are ever in our situation.

2. Prayer works. Period.

3. Distraction is a great thing. Letting your three year old watch America's Funnies Home Videos and old episodes of Tom and Jerry will provide him serious entertainment while he is in the hospital.

4. Upon arriving home, you will discover that watching Tom and Jerry has instilled a thought in your child's mind that it is OK to hit people over the head with things. The time spent watching America's Funniest Home Videos will create a three year old who laughs uproariously when someone is hurt or sad. You will find yourself regretting this particular form of distraction when you realize that your child now hits his siblings, then laughs and slaps his knee.

5. You will quickly go from the thought of 'I want my family back together again' to 'when do we get to go back for the follow up appointment?', just to have a break from the fighting.

6. No matter what is going on, God is always in control. And he will show Himself to you, all you have to do is look for Him.

7. We have the greatest friends and family in all the world, and we are so thankful for you all.

8. Despite all the hitting, slapping, fighting, crying, and laughing, it is the greatest thing ever to have your whole family under one roof. Especially when your whole family is on the mend and healing very, very well.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

A Week In Pictures...






Thank you, Lord, for the miraculous healing of our little boy. Thank you for sending angels in the form of our friends and family to help us out this week and in the weeks to come. Thank you for this smile. Amen.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

What's Going On

Hey everyone! If you've been following me on Twitter, you have an idea of what has been going on with our family. If not, here's the quickie rundown:

Sunday Grant woke up limping. He walked all day with his left foot turned out, but never complained of pain and did not slow down at all. Monday he got out of bed, tried to put his weight on the leg, and fell to the ground.

I took him to the doctor on Monday, and they did x-rays of his knee and hip and did some labs. At six Monday night I got the call that he had some sort of infection or inflammation, and that was likely causing the limp. We were scheduled for more testing on Tuesday.

Tuesday we went into the doctor for more labs, and they looked at it and decided to send us to Children's Hospital in Seattle to finish the testing. We headed down there Tuesday evening with the thought in mind that we would be going home that night, but I packed an overnight bag, just in case.

They ran tons of labs, more x-rays, and tapped his knee to get a sample of the fluid inside. The fluid showed about 500 infectious cells, which is minimal. They would have sent him to surgery to clean it out if the number was closer to 50,000. We breathed a sigh of relief. Because there were some infectious cells present, however, we were admitted and did an MRI yesterday to see if the infection was in the bone.

We were told that if the MRI was clear, we would be discharged. If not, they would send him straight to the OR so he would only be anesthetized once. When he was wheeled to us in recovery, we were happy. We assumed we were going home. I packed our bags.

We were told they didn't have the results of the MRI yet, but we would be meeting with the Infectious Disease Team and the Orthopedic Team in a while. Apparently, they call in the Infectious Disease Team anytime there is an infection in a child. We wondered what would cause a person to choose "Infectious Diseases" as their specialty. Our confidence about going home started to wane a bit, but we were still positive. We had a pool about how many doctors would fill the room when they all came to see us.

The Ortho doctor showed up (alone), and gave us the results. The MRI showed he has Myositis, which is an infection of the muscle. It is behind his femur. They want to try IV antibiotics, to see if that can clear it up. The trouble is there is not a lot of blood flow to the joints, so it might not work. If not, he's be headed to surgery to clean out the infection.

Either way, we are looking at staying at Children's Hospital for 5-7 days.

I cursed on Facebook and Twitter. Then I apologized, then cursed again.

Grant slept.

We made some calls, and things started to come together. We were in tears, humbled by the outpouring of love and support showed to our family. Children's Hospital is 150 miles from our home, so logistics were challenging, but we live by Marty's family, and I am from the Seattle area, so my family is closer to the hospital.

My brother took two days off work to help us, and showed up with two cases of Vitamin Water (my favorite flavors, even) and cases of granola bars and snacks. Elisabeth made two batches of oatmeal M&M cookies, one with only green M&M's for Grant, and the other with the rest of the M&M's to share with us, our guests, and to bribe the nurses with. Marty called AT&T to up our cell phone plan, and instead, they just gave us 1,000 free rollover minutes to help us out.

Grant ate a giant green M&M cookie as big as his head, and loved it.

In the midst of our scrambling and stress, we come to realize how minimal this really is. Yes, this is extremely difficult and challenging and hard and scary, but I'd rather do a week of this than a single day of what the families are going through whose kids have cancer. Or the little cutie that Marty met last night who is 20 months old, and had a tumor removed from her spine. She still does not have feeling in her leg, and they are waiting to see if it will return, but she may never walk.

OK. We can do this.

I came home last night to stay with the other three kids. They are quite freaked out, and Ben especially is missing his twin. I am packing them up to take them down to Seattle with me today, and we will stay at my parent's house for a couple days and then bring them home where more family will stay with them.

I am finding it a lot harder to pack for three kids than for four. My groove is off.

It's really hard to do anything when Ben keeps screaming, "No, Mommy! Don't leave me! Don't go to the bafroom!" He's a little wary, and for good reason. His world has been rocked, and he's too young to understand. I can't wait to let him see Grant later today.

Children's Hospital is an amazing place. This truly is the best of care, and I am so thrilled at what they do for the kids there. They have people who are there just to distract the kids during procedures, so the gal came in and blew bubbles for Grant, trying to pop them on his toes while they were putting in his IV. He never even noticed the IV going in. I was impressed.

Well, I have to sigh off for now, but keep watching Twitter in my sidebar for more updates. I cannot promise I will update my blog, there is one computer for the floor down the hall from Grant and there is no WiFi in the room. I can't tear myself away from my boy that long. :)

Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers, we can feel them, and God is really working things out for us. he is showing himself in amazing ways lately, and I am humbled by His provision.

Have fun, everyone! I'mma gonna go get my family back together again. Tweet ya later!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Gimpy Grant


I had a fantastic Mother's day. How about you? I'll post more later, I'm mostly done with my Mother's Day post, but I keep getting distracted.

So here's the quick update for today. Er, the last couple of days. Sunday Grant woke up limping. We thought it was strange, but he didn't seem to be in any pain, and we could see nothing physically wrong with his leg. We decided to wait and see what happened. He hobbled along, still limping with his left foot and knee turned out all day long. We went to the park, and he played and played, with no complaints. We went on a walk, and I put him in the stroller, which he complained about a lot. I would poke him and ask if there were "owies," and he always said no.

By Saturday night, he told me he had a "...teeny tiny owie. But don't kiss it, Mommy, it will go away by itself, ok?" He said it was in his knee.

Monday morning he woke up, and when he got out of bed and tried to put weight on it, he fell over.

That's not a good sign.

He was clearly is a lot of pain, and I took him into the doctor where they did several x-rays of his knee and hip, and blood work. I didn't hear back from the doctor till after six last night (I've always been told the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and I was definitely a squeaky wheel. A polite, kind, respectful, very squeaky wheel.) The doctor said the blood work showed he has some sort of infection or inflammation in his body, and it is affecting his joints and that likely is the cause of this problem. We were told to come back in today for another blood test, and in the meantime watch him to see if he showed signs of illness, and take him to the ER is he did.


I was at a cooking class last night, so I texted the babysitter to let her know. She texted me back a bit later to say that he was looking lethargic and had a temp of 99.9. A bit later, it was 100.2. I was supposed to take him in if he reached 100.4.


I told her to keep me posted, and by the time I got home his temp was down to 98.8, so I gave him some Ibuprofen and let him sleep. As of this morning, he is still complaining of pain, and we have an appointment at 1:00 to do more blood work and figure out where to go from here.

Ben has realized that he can steal toys from Grant, since Grant can't chase him and get them back. Grant has started hitting any kid who comes close, in order to protect his stuff.

Please pray for Grant, and for our family. I do believe our God is a God of miracles, and He can heal Grant immediately if that is His will. I also believe that if this progresses and we have to take further action, He can take care of us, and give us peace.

And I kinda need some peace right now.

(I'll be updating my Twitter account today as we go, you can see those updates in the left sidebar.)


After a short, fun appointment, they are sending us to Children's Hospital in Seattle. He needs an MRI (or something like that) and he needs to be sedated for that, as well as drawing the fluid from his knee to see what kind of infection is in there. I am happy with the decision to go, and I'm packing my bag. I'll keep updating Twitter, I'd appreciate if you all could keep praying! Thank you!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Friday Facts

Thankful for: I am thankful for the SUN that finally decided to grace us with it's presence today. It has been crazy weather here this year, we basically had no winter, but then after everything started to bud and bloom, it got colder again. Earlier this week, we would start out having a beautiful day, but by the time I got all the kids up and dressed and ready to go, it was hailing. No joke. I am so very thankful for the sunshine and the fact that it is warming up. I am so ready for summer!

Looking forward to: Well, summer, for one. But I am really looking forward to the day the twins are actually potty trained and we can be done with having three kids in diapers and all the expense that goes with that. And I think that day is coming soon! WooHoo!!

Listening to: The kids eating their morning granola. And my stomach growling, since I haven't had breakfast yet.

Missing: Hmmm... that's a tough one. I can't think of anything right off the bat, but I'm sure there is something.

Wanting/needing: I need a day at the spa. I can't think of anything more fun or relaxing right now than a spa day. I think it would be a wonderful Mother's day gift to get a spa gift certificate.

It's kind of funny, I wasn't even thinking of the spa, but then Marty took Emma out to do "Mother's Day stuff" and when they came home, Emma was wearing a sticker on her shirt from the Chrysalis, which happens to be my favorite spa.

I'm sure it's just a coincidence, I mean, I think it's perfectly reasonable for my husband to have a stash of stickers from the spa in his car to give Emma whenever she gets bored, right? There's no way that that sticker came from the spa, while they were doing Mother's Day shopping, you know? That seems a little far-fetched to me.

I know I would love a day at the spa. But I'll settle for whatever I get for Mother's Day, I'm sure it will be great. (wink)

Quote of the week: I've got a few this time:

"Please stop hitting the front of the TV with a baseball bat."

"Wait, where'd you get a baseball bat?!?"

"Please don't hit the computer monitor with that stick. Why is that no longer attached to the blinds like it should be?"

"Grant, you must stop spinning Drew in the office chair. He does not know how to tell you to stop. No, baby, he can't look at you right now, he's too dizzy."

"I don't care what 'Grandma says', you don't get a candy for going pee pee in your undies. And I highly doubt Grandma would give you one, either, but that was a nice try."

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Because I Am Stupid a Complete And Total Moron

Updated at the bottom...

I think we all know by now, sleep deprivation makes me do dumb things.

Oh, you didn't know that? Well, welcome to Still Seeking Sanity. You must be new here. Watch out, don't step in that puddle on the floor over there. We're potty training, and, well, you never know.

Today I have errands to run. And I'm sleep deprived. This time, it's not because of the kids, though, it's because I suddenly remembered at ten thirty last night that I needed to make potato salad for thirty people for our Teacher Appreciation week luncheon today.

Ten pounds of potatoes takes a while, so I got to bed late. I know, it's my fault, but I'm still planning on blaming the lack of sleep for the completely idiotic thing that I am about to do.

We are potty training the twins.

And I have to run errands.

So I an going to take two not-quite-potty trained boys out in public in big boy undies.

Because, well, we all know I am stupid.

The good news is, either it's going to go really well, making me feel like a wonderful mother who has finally taught her boys to pee in the potty, or we will have a totally hilariously awesome story to share on the blog later.

I'm betting we will all have a good laugh at my expense.

Which way do you think it's going to go?


We're home. And the boys are still wearing the same pants we went out in. It was a rip-roaring success!!

I did learn, however, that when you let one child use the toilet first, don't let that child start washing their hands before the other kids have gone potty, or the sound of the water running will cause the third child to "leak a little". I can't say that Wolverine came out of the experience totally dry, but Ben's pants stayed dry and that's what counts. Oh, and I also learned to pack plastic baggies. It doesn't matter how many paper towels you wrap wet Wolverine undies in, it's still gross to put them in your purse.

I feel like a million bucks right now. I bet I could do just about anything I wanted to, I'm flying that high on life. This is awesome.

I need a nap.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A First

This morning I put the boys in their brand new, picked-out-by-themselves, big boy undies. And we have every intention of never looking back.

Ben has a variety of superheros, and Grant has a variety of Disney characters. Emma tried to convince them to get the really cool, sparkly Tinkerbell ones, I think just because she wanted to have them.

So far, poor Ironman has been peed on once. The frustrating part is that Ironman was fine, and Ben said he had to go potty, but them on the way to the bathroom got distracted and played in the hall till he peed on Ironman.

Poor Ironman. I can't imagine urine would be really good on iron.

Sorry, I'm still sleep deprived.

Well, wish me luck, pray for my sanity, or bring me wine, but here we go. I have no intention of looking back.

and just for fun, here's a little something that is freaking hilarious.

My friend Tarah sent me an e-mail today, with a link to the Jansen Family's Blog. On it was this video, that I just had to share.

Holy canolies, batman. Now THAT was funny.

Hope you enjoy!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Why I Need More Sleep

We were stuck in a rainstorm, in the van. The whole family was together. We needed dinner, and for some reason, we decided to order a pizza, and have it delivered to us in the van.

The pizza delivery guy came. It was Matthew Perry. You know, Chandler from Friends? Yup, he was our pizza delivery guy. It really didn't strike us as strange that he was delivering our pizza, it was just cool, and made us realize how great Birch Bay is. What was strange, though, was that he really looked like Matthew McConaughey. He was still Matt Perry, but with long hair and kind of a surfer attitude. But still, it seemed totally normal, in that way that dreams often seem. Matthew wasn't down on his luck and needing to deliver pizzas, he just wanted to. It was great.

We sat in the van, listening to the hum of the engine, the wipers swish-swish-swishing, and the pattering of the raindrops on the roof. We could see activity all around us, people shopping, running in and out of shops loaded with bags of locally made goodies. Matthew Perry continued to hang out with us. I saw a car pull up and recognized the driver as Papa Bear, the dad in a family whose blog I follow. I saw his wife Kingdom Mama (aka Sarah) run out of a shop with two kids and walk along the parking lot. "Oh, yeah," I thought, "I forgot they live in Birch Bay!" (The reason I forgot, in fact, is because they actually live in New Mexico or somewhere like that.)

I wanted to go introduce myself, but since she only came out of the store with two kids, I assumed her other three must have been missing, so I let them figure out where their kids were without me distracting them. She did not seem concerned in the least at the fact that she only had two kids with her. I inwardly applauded her sense of peace and calm. I remember thinking that I needed to be more like her, with the ability to stay calm and smiling, with my hair shiny and smooth even when my kids were missing. Her husband looked at her with such a look, everyone could see how in love they were.

We continued to chat with Matthew Perry/McConaughey about how lovely the palm trees were in the rain. The rain had stopped and the sun was out, shining a glistening glow on the condos that we were parked next to. These were high end condos, something out of Melrose Place. But the condos, the palm trees, the family from Kingdom Twindom, and Matthew McConaPerry all seemed so natural, settling into my heart that Birch Bay really is the greatest place in the world.

I tried not to watch Papa Bear and Kingdom Mama, it seemed inappropriate to stalk these people who I know through their blog without introducing myself. I finally came to realize that the other three kids were in the car with Papa Bear, and they never were missing at all.

Matthew McConauPerry caught a glance of Kingdom Mama and said, "Dude, she's hot!"

The kids were still mesmerized by the rain (which was still running down the windows and was being swiped away by the wipers, despite the fact that it had stopped raining outside or on Matt McPerry-hey, who was leaning in my husband's window chatting with him about sports). The kids ate their pizza, and naturally didn't spill or streak a single bit of pizza sauce in my van.

And this is why I need more sleep. Because it's when I'm really sleep deprived that I have strange dreams involving morphing celebrities, sauce-less pizza, and bloggy friends.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This was created bu MckMama, head on over to her blog to see what she and everyone else have NOT been doing this week.

This weekend was our annual springtime garage sale and family swap meet. We do NOT gather the whole family together to sell our goods, and end up trading a bunch between ourselves so that we come home with armloads of stuff in an attempt to rid ourselves of stuff.

Amy did NOT decide to take a shirt of mine that I was selling, because it was cute but too small for me now. We did NOT later realize that I had gotten that same shirt a couple of years ago at another family garage sale, and I actually had taken it from her.

No, we do NOT simply keep trading the same stuff back and forth.

It did NOT rain on our garage sale. I did NOT find myself yelling at the clouds, telling them to go away, further cementing myself as the weirdo in the family who talks to inanimate objects.

Yesterday, while I was at our garage sale, my darling husband did NOT decide to be a 'fun dad' and give the kids temporary tattoos. He did NOT neglect the super-important step of telling the three year old what he was doing, resulting in a hysterical, panicked boy, who was trying to move the 'sticker' and upon realizing that it would not move, started screaming, "Spiderman is eating me!"

I did NOT thoroughly enjoy the weekend hanging out with the ladies of the family, and without kids, who were in the care of my hubby. I realized, once again, that I did NOT marry into the greatest family of all time.