Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Lame Excuses

I know.

I am completely slacking in the blogging department.

Trust me, I have gotten the phone calls.

But you see, I have been trying. Really. We went to the zoo on Friday and I have been diligently working on the pictures for three days. I just keep getting interrupted by things/children/poop. There's nothing quite like taking a three year old to go poop on the toilet, and upon taking off his diaper, realizing that he has already pooped in it. And realizing this as the poop falls out of the diaper and lands on your foot.


But soon I will return to my former blogging glory (let's just pretend for a minute that I had blogging glory in the first place, OK? It'll sure make me feel better!) and there will be some quality posts coming soon.

Or, maybe just some more talk of poop.

It's really hard to tell.

(Guess what? I just hit spell check and no misspellings were found! That has happened exactly three times in my entire blogging career. It's really cool! OK, I know I'm lame. )

Monday, March 29, 2010

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This is where I flatly deny anything and everything that would keep me from achieving my super-mom status. 'Cuz we all know that's exactly what I'm striving for.

It has NOT taken me several hours to do this Not Me! Monday! post due to the fact that I had an awesomely deny-able Not Me! week and now I cannot remember a single thing. Nope, my life is PERFECT and I NEVER do anything embarrassing or otherwise humiliating, there is NO WAY I would experience things in life and immediately think, "Oh, that's going to be perfect for Not Me! Monday!" Nope. NOT at all.

I have NOT gotten up a few times from writing this post to shower, brush my teeth, and other things in the hopes that something Not Me!ish will jog my memory. There is no need, as I ALWAYS shower before the kids wake up, I NEVER wait till they are all napping and finally get to it at three in the afternoon, and then only because I can't think of anything to blog about. I have NOT officially named Mondays "No shower Mondays" for several reason, including, but not limited to the following: I rarely have time to shower; Marty has basketball in the evenings so we don't go anywhere anyway; I don't usually leave the house or see anyone; and I get to use the excuse that I am saving water, shampoo, and makeup, allowing myself to believe that this is a conservation effort and not a lazy thing.

After literally several hours of contemplating this Not Me! Monday!, I have NOT decided to simply re-posting my Facebook status updates for the week because I really can't think of anything. so, without further stalling ado, here they are. And for clarification, the following things did NOT happen/were NOT said this week:

Grant: "Mommy, I'm gonna go to McDonalds and I be very careful so I not fall down. I be careful and Sissy be careful, too." Ben: "Mommy, I not be careful." Me: "Ben, you are not going to be careful at McDonalds?" Ben: "Nope, I not be careful and I gonna fall down." Me: "Won't that hurt?" Ben: "Yup. It gonna hurt."

There's nothing worse than hearing a knock at the door at noon and you are still in your bathrobe. However, it quickly turns to sheer joy when you see the fed-ex truck in your driveway, allowing you to lie in wait for the delivery guy to leave before snatching your new steamer of the front porch.

Boxing up maternity clothes to get rid of them. Emma is helping, and asks, "Mommy, what is that?" "It's a maternity shirt. It is for when you have a baby in your belly." "Oh," she says, "it's big to cover up your big fattness." Thanks a lot, kid.

What did you NOT do this week?

Thursday, March 25, 2010


"Mom, I have a wondering in my brain." I just love how the kids think. And Emma especially, is so good at explaining what is going on.

"Alright, baby, what are you wondering?"

"Well," she pauses, trying her best to explain herself in a way that is respectful and clear, "I am wondering if in my room, I can make up my own rules, since it's my room. And you can have your rules in the rest of the house, since it's your house. Is that OK?"

"Sweetheart, that would be OK in some cases. But since your room is part of my house, some of the house rules still apply. What is the rule you wanted to have in your room?"

"Well, I want my room rule to be that it's OK to kick a soccer ball in the house, since it's in my room."

I am constantly amazed at this child. This five year old, who understands the complexities behind asking for the rules to be broken. "Mom, I have a wondering in my brain." She's adorable and amazing.

But no, she didn't get to kick her soccer ball in her room. Since we let her kick the ball in the living room for one evening and she almost took out one of the two remaining blades on our ceiling fan and all. I know, details.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Ch-ch-ch-changes (and some of the same)

Good morning! Some of you may have noticed a li'l something different today. That's right, I have reached a new self-appointed level of bloggy coolness. Not that anyone really cares that I have my own domain, but it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

That's right, we are now! You can still reach this site by going the old way through the .blogspot address, but the more direct route is available. So update your bookmarks, your favorites, your toolbars, (I know some of you have this blog directly on your toolbar, right? No, that's just my hubby because I put it on there for him? Oh. My bad.) and I'll try to update the links on the page.

You know, when I'm not cleaning up pee. Or sending three year olds to time out for jumping off the top of the train table and flying through the air like they are actually little Evel Kenivel children.

Or taking kids to the doctor. Again.


Is it too much to ask that my doctor send me a nice gift this Christmas, as a thank you for all of the business I have been bringing him? I mean, really, I think I have totally earned a nice bottle of wine, or a cheese basket, maybe an Audi. At least I know who his kids are, so I will feel really good about sending all four of them to college.

At Harvard.

Well, I gotta run and shower before taking Drew to the doc today. Because, you know, Steve at the pharmacy probably misses me. I haven't seen him in a good two weeks, and we have become good enough friends that I don't want to show up in my jammies.

You know, again.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My Birthday

This weekend was my birthday weekend. And yes, I take the entire weekend as my birthday weekend. Oh, who am I kidding. I have a birthday month.

On Saturday, we went to my parent's house and spent the day there. It was GORGEOUS, it even reached 73 degrees on the way down. What a beautiful day!

However, my poor motion sickness-prone daughter did not enjoy the ride down as much as the rest of us. She threw up about five minutes away from my parent's house, but luckily we had brought extra clothes. A little bit of cleanup later, and we were back on the road.

We went for a walk to my parent's neighbor's house, where we fed goats. I love this picture of Grammie and Grandpa with the older kids!

The goats were very happy to see us, and loved their stale-chip snack.

Ben was a little leery about sticking his fingers so close to the goat's nibbling teeth, so he was a little conservative in his feeding efforts.
Drew wasn't real sure about the whole thing. This was as close as he got.
We went back to the house and played in my parent's yard. I love that my family will steal my camera and get some pictures of the stuff I am not seeing, as well as taking pictures of me. I am hardly ever in pictures, but this family makes sure I get into some.

My brother performed the typical uncle-tricks of spinning the kids in an airplane, and having a great time.
And we played soccer with the fruit-tree goalposts. Our little goalie did a great job.

I lay down on the grass to enjoy the sun, which, of course, led to Ben pulling grass and throwing it on my head....
...Which led to my brother attempting a picture of all the kids laying on me... (My camera is not a point and shoot, and is not user-friendly, which is why this shot is a little blown out. It's hard to get a good picture with my camera when it's set to manual!)
which led to my brother and Drew having some Tiff-is-a-pillow-time...
...which led to me being pinned down by my Dad and given my birthday spankings by my brother. So not cool!
And of course, my darling Emma would not let anyone beat her mother without getting in on the fun. Thanks a lot, kid!
OK, now go look at Drew's face in the picture with my brother beating me. See that look? Apparently, that's his "the fresh air is making my cough, and I'm about to throw up my food" look. But what baby would just throw up on the ground? Not mine! My children want to be close to me. Which is why the birthday spankings ended abruptly when I shouted, "Why is there something warm and wet on my leg?!?"

Yup, I got puked on.

On my birthday weekend.


Oh, well, that's the life of a mom of four. Luckily, only two puked that day, and it was two separate isolated events that caused the puking, there was not an illness involved. Praise God for that one!

OK, moving on.

Usually, my brother does something goofy with my camera, and he always gets blogged. I don't know if he forgets this in the moment or what, but here is his self portrait with my lovely sister-in-law, Beth.
Beth looks lovely as always, but My brother seemed to master the straight-up-the nostril shot. Lookin good, bro!

Although I can't give him too hard of a time, he did give me a fabulous birthday present. He gave me a card that said simply,

Love, Jeff and Beth

I am so excited! We hope to get it all sorted out this week, I'll let you know when the big switch happens. The current blog address should continue to work though, so don't worry. My brother is so thoughtful!

We had a fabulous dinner of barbecues steak, potato salad, my favorite fluffy rolls and sesame peas. My dad is the best cook, it was mouth-watering good. We ended the meal with strawberry chip cake.

There are six candles because I am 33 and 3+3=6. It makes sense if you think about it. Also, my dad had left the BBQ under the eaves of the house and we had set off the smoke alarm in the attic, and all of our ears had been ringing already and we didn't want to test every smoke detector in the house on this particular day.
What a fabulous day.

My actual birthday day was Sunday, and it was fun. Marty's dad was in town and we got the whole family together for Stauffer Sunday, which is a tradition where we gather the whole family, including Marty's grandparents and all his aunts, uncles, and cousins. There are close to sixty people involved, and it is loud, family fun. Marty's Dad lives in Oregon so we all try to get together when he's around.

Yesterday, Marty took the day off work and we had birthday fun with just our family. During nap time I went on my own to peruse the feed store and I bought the seeds I want for my garden this year, and I was also a bit swayed by the pretty flowers. So I bought some of those, too. Yup, I spent all of my birthday money at the feed store, but I am so happy about what I got. I cannot wait to plant my garden! My brother-in-law usually roto-tills my garden for me, but for some reason he feels the need to work on his wife's honey-do-list before he does mine.

Sheesh. I mean, really. (Just kidding, Dan, I love you!)

Anywhoo, I am off to have a fun playing in the dirt. I have seeds to start and flowers to play with. Have a great day!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Power, Poop, and Greasy Hair

Yesterday was a bit crazy. If you read my twitter updates on the sidebar, you might have seen what was going on. Basically, a car crashed into a power pole in the morning and we lost power just before nine. You know, just as I was headed into the bathroom to shower. Naturally.

We are on a well, so when we lose power, we lose water. We have a reservoir tank under the house that holds 80 gallons when it's full, so we do have a little to use, but when we don't know how long the power will be out I try not to use it. Before it runs out, everything get stirred up from the bottom and our water turns brown, and lasts that way for days after the power comes back. It's a delicate balance, estimating how much water you can use without running out or turning everything brown. And it's never fun when you realize that you cannot flush the toilet so the house will smell like poop till the power comes back.

I ran into two challenges yesterday:

1. We had Emma's parent teacher conference, which I was going to have to attend without showering. Now, I am not one of those girls that washes their hair every few says or it will dry out. Nope, by morning time I look like a day-32 Survivor contestant, minus the skinniness and overgrown eyebrows. Oh, who are we kidding, I am due for a waxing, so just minus the skinniness. I did the ever-so-fun baby wipes to the pits to try and convince myself I didn't stink, and added baby powder to my roots to try and relieve my hair from masses of grease. I think it kinda worked, but it was dark in the bathroom so I couldn't see myself clearly. That was probably a good thing.

2. We gave up on potty training for a bit since everyone got sick again, but yesterday morning the boys decided they wanted to go pee-pee on the potty! What would have been a celebration was marred by the fact that we couldn't flush the toilet or wash hands well. We made it work, but I washed their hands instead of letting them so it to preserve the most water as possible. A three-year-old uses approximately ninety-seven gallons of water while they are washing hands. Which is kind of funny to watch, since Emma is on "conservation patrol" around here and she will stand in the bathroom door and yell at them if they are wasting water. Which means they will yell back, and the yelling process means the kids are standing there fighting while water continues to go down the drain, defeating the whole purpose in the first place.

We usually have my in-laws over for dinner on Thursdays, but last night we went to their house since we couldn't cook dinner or see at ours. It was wonderful, and the power came back just before nine last night, minutes before we returned home. I found out this morning from my neighbor that the man who hit the pole has prostate cancer and was on a new medication that he didn't realize would impair his driving, but he started seeing double and went off the road. He took out the mailboxes, a fence and the power pole, which snapped in half and fell. Amazingly, he was talking after the accident, and lived! I am so grateful, I really thought that whatever had happened, there must have been a fatality. Thank you, Jesus!

Emma's parent teacher conference went well, I'll blog about that later. But her teacher had me in stitches at some of the things my daughter has been doing. Emma is a riot!

I hope you have a great weekend, I am skipping Friday Facts today because, well, I don't feel like doing them. I wanted to do this update, and now I want to go outside and play with the kids. I hope you all enjoy my birthday weekend!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I'm Speechless. Seriously.


The Girl Scouts of America have issued a statement regarding this matter. It can be found HERE. Thank you, Lord, it appears this was wrong!! I will add the statement from the Girl Scouts at the end of this post. My dear friend Erin found the statement from the Girl Scouts, and I think her for it. I am going to be able to sleep tonight!


I am very careful about my blogging style. I have no desire to be a bloggy basher, I have never wanted to go off on rants about politics or current events.

But I am about to.

It takes a lot to disturb me so greatly that I will get on my blog and rant about it, and I am sincerely hoping this is incorrect info. I am really, really hoping that the three separate news articles saying the same thing are based on fabrication.

Warning: if you have a child who can read over your shoulder, you might want to ask them to leave.


Are they gone? OK, read on.

World Net Daily published and article that started off like this:

A new campaign by the Girl Scouts, with the help of Planned Parenthood, is offering girls ages 10 to 14 the inside details on how to be "hot."

This week, the World Association of Girl Scouts and Girl Guides held a no-adults-welcome panel at the United Nations in which Planned Parenthood distributed a brochure entitled "Healthy, Happy and Hot."

And do you know what else was in the brochure? Oh, it was info for girls telling them this, which I copied from the World Net Daily article:

"Many people think sex is just about vaginal or anal intercourse… But, there are lots of different ways to have sex and lots of different types of sex. There is no right or wrong way to have sex. Just have fun, explore and be yourself!"

It then makes some specific suggestions to "talk dirty."

"Improve your sex life by getting to know your own body. Play with yourself! Masturbation is a great way to find out more about your body and what you find sexually stimulating. Mix things up by using different kinds of touch from very soft to hard. Talk about or act out your fantasies. Talk dirty to them," it suggests.

Is it just me, or did anyone else just throw up in their mouth?

If this is really the truth, I am overwhelmed that anyone would think this is an OK topic for anyone, much less 10-14 year old girls.

I would love to offer my opinion, to go off in a snarky way about how this is so horrifying and what it is teaching our kids, but I'm speechless. I'm just... in shock.

The World Net Daily article can be found HERE. An article about this same subject from Life News is HERE. And another one from Parent News is HERE. (Thank you, Brenda, for the links!)

I have no more words. I am truly speechless.


The statement from the Girl Scouts, as taken from the National Federation for Catholic Youth Ministry:

Statement from Girl Scouts USA

Earlier this month, Girl Scouts of the USA (GSUSA) was honored to attend and participate in the 54th Commission on the Status of Women at the United Nations, where girls were encouraged to take action on global issues concerning women and girls. Our participation in that conference was recently the subject of numerous internet stories and blogs that are factually inaccurate and troubling. Here are the facts of that meeting:

  • The Girls Only Workshop was jointly hosted by Girl Scouts of the USA, UNICEF’s Working Group on Girls, Girls Learn International and The Grail. The meeting was only open to the girls and participating sponsors.
  • Only seven adults were in the room at the time of the meeting, each representing one of the sponsors of the event. No one from Catholic Family & Human Rights Institute was in the room to report on the event.
  • 30-35 girls from across the world participated in this event. All teenagers.
  • The girls received a copy of the only document they were working on titled (“The Girls’ Statement”). No other documents were given to the girls as part of this event.
  • The room in question was also used to host other events over the course of the multi-day conference. Prior to our girls entering the room, we did not “sanitize’ the room to ensure that no trash or other items were left behind. We did request that those not associated with the sponsors to leave the room prior to our session.
  • The Girl Scouts of the USA was not contacted by Catholic Family & Human Rights Institute (C-FAM) regarding its initial story to discuss the facts of this event. Had they applied these basic journalistic standards, perhaps the true details of this event would have been reported.
Our Mission in Girl Scouting is to build girls of courage, confidence and character–who make the world a better place. We continue to be proud of our girls and look forward to showing the world what our girls can do. We thank everyone for their support of Girl Scouting.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


It is normal for kids to have imaginary friends. My kids are not normal.

Grant has an imaginary teacher. He is longing to be big, to go to school and ride the bus and play soccer, just like sissy. So he made it up. He loves his teacher and his school, and he tells us all about him and the conversations they have.

"I have a car with 3 big big big green wheels and my teacher say he likes it!"

"My teacher brother's baby have a big big big soccer shirt. Yeah, a long one."

And at the dinner table, after Grant spilled his milk and was cleaning it up, he told us this wonderful nugget of information:

"My teacher loves me spilling with my milk."

"Grant, your teacher does not love you spilling your milk."

"My teacher do!!" he exclaimed, very serious and sure.

Well OK then.


Emma has been into telling knock-knock jokes.


"Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrupti..." "MOOO!!"


"Who's there?"


"Orange who?"


"Who's there?"


"Orange who?"


"Who's there?"


"Orange who?"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"


"Banana who?"

"Orange you... uh... (you can see the wheels turning in her head. She suddenly realized, I was supposed to start with banana! Quick, fix this!) orange... ummm... banana aren't you glad I didn't say orange?"

Good save, baby!


I have been writing down some of the random things I have been saying to the kids, since I will want to blackmail the kids later remember these fond times.

"Please take the fork out of your mouth while you are coughing."

"Hey, turn around and face the urinal. You may not pee on your brother's leg."

"You may not lick the milk off the table. Daddy is getting you a rag, clean it up that way."

"Please don't suck the milk out of the rag. That's nasty."


Drew is becoming more adept at talking and communicating. He is actually saying no (which sounds like "oh") and shaking his head to go along with it.

The problem?

That actually means yes.

This morning he saw a banana on the kitchen island. He did his typical routine, asking politely for the banana by pointing to it and saying "Ack! Ack! Ack!" and jumping up and down. I held it up, which made him giggle with excitement and anticipation. Then I asked, "Drew, do you want a banana?"

To which he replied, "oh, oh, oh, oh!" while shaking his head back and forth and reaching up for the banana, grinning the whole time.

Is it bad that I don't want to correct him, since it is so darn funny?

Monday, March 15, 2010

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This was created by MckMama, head on over to her blog to see what she and everyone else have NOT been doing this week.

As you all know, we are NOT sick. Again. My darling (stubborn) husband especially, has NOT been sick as a dog, but despite my protests hasn't gone to the doctor. I was NOT on the phone with my wonderful mom-in-law this week, where she mentioned that she just knew Marty had a sinus infection and needed to go to the doctor because it wasn't getting better, and he was starting to show the effects of being sick for so long. I, being the loving, always supportive wife that I am, did NOT respond by completely agreeing with her. Nope, I would NEVER have complained to my husband's mom about how he was being such a stubborn, bullheaded man.

At dinner Friday night, he was NOT complaining about his sinuses, to which I told him again to call the doctor. To which he said, "no, it'll be fine when it heals." Yeah right.

Which leads us to our biggest Not Me of this post. Because I am such a loving, supportive, non-enabling wife, I did NOT excuse myself from the table under the guise of needing to use the bathroom, and grab the phone and go hide out in my room and call the doctor for him. I would NEVER do something like that!

Only a mean wife would come back out and join the family for dinner and tell her husband, "Finish up. They had a cancellation and you have an appointment in an hour."

And of course, both mom and I were wrong, and worried for NO reason. Because the doctor did NOT look inside my husband's mouth and say, "Oh, WOW!" He is NOT on three prescription medications, including a steroid. The doc did NOT prescribe his antibiotics for longer than the normal timeline, because the infection was so bad.

Oh, and when he went in, they did NOT still have his emergency contact as his Dad, who moved out of state eleven years ago. Nope, it has NOT been that long since he has been to the doctor. I am not going to call him stubborn yet again in this post. Stubborn.

I did NOT clearly, plainly, and loudly, say "I told you so!" After he got home. No way. That would be mean, and boastful, and just plain rude. And I am NONE of those things. there is NOT an "I told you so" song and dance, very similar to Grace's in Will and Grace.

And my husband is NOT feeling a whole lot better now.

I did NOT give him a hard time, saying that he better perform a whole lot better in basketball this week, since he is on steroids and all.

What did you NOT do this week?

Friday, March 12, 2010

Friday Facts

We are sick. Again.

I called the doctor yesterday as the three boys all had green goopies coming out of the corners of their eyes. The doctor's office told me to pick the two sickest, that's all they had time for.


Drew has croup again, and a double ear infection. Again. Grant has one ear infection again. All three have eye infections. I have something cold/flu-ish again, and Marty started feeling nasty again this morning. Emma is healthy as a horse. I swear, that girl has the immunity of Superman.

Wow, again is sure a strange word. You don't really realize it till you type it out so many times. Again again again. Hmm.

Thankful for: Doctors who understand life with four kids. The doctor yesterday was awesome, and prescribed Grant's eye medicine for twice as long as was necessary so I could treat Ben with it, too, even though he wasn't seen yesterday. Thank you Lord!

Looking forward to: When we are all healthy again. And daylight savings time starts this weekend, which makes me so very happy!! Spring is here! Yay for sunshine! :)

What's for dinner tonight: I have no clue. NyQuil and a nap sounds good.

Listening to: Relative quiet. The twins have been is time-outs for long enough periods of time this morning, including many trips back to their rooms and out again to practice coming when I call them the first time, I think they are a little cautious of ticking me off again.

Missing: My brain, and our family's health.

Wanting/needing: Sleep, chicken soup, and "bappa dooce" like my Daddy makes. He always made me apple juice when I was sick, and now it never tastes the same as it does when my Daddy makes it.

Quote of the Week:
This seems to be turning into the conversation of the week. Oh, well!
Earlier this week, I was changing Ben into jammies, and we had a nice chat.

Me: "Ben, you are a blessing to me. I thank God for you."

Ben: "Yup. God loves me." He's so certain, so sure. That's the definition of faith like a child. He knows God loves him because he knows.

Me: "You're right, buddy, God loves you sooo much."

Ben: "God doesn't love no one."

Me: I had to think about that for a minute. "Yes, there isn't anyone that God does not love. He loves everyone, huh?"

Ben: "Yup." And then he said something else that was sweet, but by the time I went to wrote this conversation down, I couldn't remember what it was.

Ben: "God likes to sit in a little chair."

Me: "Yes, God sits in a throne, right? Do you know it's really, really big?"

Ben: "Yup. And God plays horsies game. And he plays hide-and-seek with me."

Grant: Wanting in on the conversation: "God and me have a race!"

Ben: "God reaches toys, cuz He's big."

Grant: "God is gonna be cranky."

Ben: "Mommy, you can't get the TV, but God can. He big enough."

Grant: "God is gonna be Cranky and I gonna be Lightning McQueen." Oh, I get it now. Cranky is the name of the crane in the Thomas the Train books.

Ben: Not yet coming to the same realization, "God is not cranky!" Good job, buddy! You tell him!

Grant: Ignoring Ben, "God can jump way way way way way up in sky!"

And then they started jumping, and ran off to play a jumping game, leaving me with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face.

Friday Facts was created by Tiffiny, who went in this morning for her fourth back surgery. She lives with a great deal of pain every day, and the doctors are hoping this surgery will relieve her of some, if not all of the pain. Would you pray for her today?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Yesterday's attempt at potty training did not go well. Mainly because I never started. It was a rough day.

I promised my hubby that I would give it a try this morning, but I am exhausted from being woken nineteen thousand times last night. Between Grant and Drew's incessant coughing and Emma being convinced that there were a trail of teeny tiny ants in her bed, we didn't sleep much. I swear, it's ridiculous to wait for weeks for your kids to be well enough to attend church, and then finally go but have them get sick again two days later because not everyone waits till their kids are healthy. Thanks a lot, whoever bright sick kids to church. We are thrilled to be sick for over a month in our house. As soon as your kids get better, bring 'em on by for a playdate. I'd love to share a little something with you...

I do not drink coffee. I am not caffeine dependent at all, but I am sitting here at 10:00 in the morning with a Pepsi cracked open in the hopes it will wake me up a bit. I think I'll add a bit of Jack Daniels to it, and let the nanny take care of the kids while the housekeeper cleans up this joint. Than I can fulfill my duties as a stay at home mom and eat bon bons and watch Oprah while the pool boy fans me with palm fronds.


OK, I'm back. That was a nice little mini vacation there! I feel much better now.

Anywhoo, Whitney Lee asked me yesterday if I had any tips for potty training. As a matter of fact, I do. If you go to the top right left corner of this blog (sorry, I'm tired. I had to actually lift my hands off the keyboard to make an L with my thumbs and first fingers to figure that out) you will see a box that says search. You can type in anything and it will search my blog for posts for you. I did it for potty training last night, and that is why I am stalling this morning. I had forgotten how bad it was. And our carpet cleaner is currently in the shop, so I have no weapons of defense.

Here are a few tips from the previous potty training posts and previous potty training attempts. Enjoy!

1. It is good to give small, potty training children lots of liquids to encourage opportunities to learn to use the toilet. However, apple juice might not be the best choice, as stepping in a puddle of liquid is never pleasant, but stepping in a puddle of liquid and being uncertain of it's source, therefore having to identify- by smell- whether is is squeezed fruit or human waste is not a recommended activity.

2. A playpen is a good choice for smaller children during this time. You cannot keep both potty training children in the bathroom for the whole duration of the process, when one is done, he will want to leave. And when the other is done, you just might leave the bathroom and find the first child sitting on your seven-month-old's head.

3. Spending a lot of time with one child, encouraging the desired activity by reading books and singing songs is good.

However, you might come out and find that the other child has attempted to succeeded in removing shelves from the entertainment center.
4. Getting through the morning by chanting in your head- naptime is coming soon! is a good way to keep your cool through the morning. However, when naptime comes, the twins might refuse to sleep, instead opting to yell, scream, and jump from one bed to the other. They might be doing this despite warnings, removal of buddies, blankets, and pillows, and resulting in your seven month old being unable to sleep from all the noise and crying for two hours. This might lead to undesired adult activities like curling up in a ball with a pillow over your head trying not to cry, or stress-eating a half a family sized bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. And an entire bag of microwave popcorn.

5. Contrary to what I have been telling myself, the second day is not any easier than the first.

6. You must appreciate the baby steps in the process. And still appreciate these steps the second time that Ben runs to the bathroom, sits down and pees straight through his underwear.

7. Little boys (at least, my little boys) pee about every ten minutes. Logic would say that you should then put the boys on the potty every ten minutes, but it does not seem to work that way. They can sit on the potty for twenty minutes, and then get up, wash their hands, and go out in the living room and pee within 4.2 seconds.

8. Letting your child pick out their own undies is a great way for them to be involved. However, leaving them in the middle of the process to check on the other twin might lead to some interesting choices.
9. It may seem like a good idea to use all the candy that the kids have collected at the many parades they have attended during the summer, but it is really not a grand idea. Most of it is hard candy that will not be fully consumed by the time they pee on the floor again. M&M's are a much better reward.

10. Now is the time to bust out hand-me-down toys. Namely, if the kids have an older cousin who loved Thomas the Train so much that you were given a huge Rubbermaid tote full of tracks and trains, bring it out to use as bribery. It will work so much better than offering yet another hard candy that is slightly crushed from being thrown to the ground from a parade float.

11. Choosing to spend some of naptime to build a really cool train track can help keep the little ones occupied, desiring more trains, and most importantly, off the carpet.
12. If your husband stops by to pick up his phone, sweet talk him into staying to let you take a shower. He might be at your house for twenty five minutes and have to deal with three accidents, giving him an entirely new perspective on the stress that this may cause you. And he might let you hog the computer after the kids go to bed, knowing that if you don't get a little down time you might just scream and run away from home.

13. Having the carpet cleaner out and ready is a great plan. However, making sure you actually have the soap that goes in the carpet cleaner is a better idea.

14. Finding really old carpet cleaning solution in the back of the laundry room, after desperately searching for something that you can use to clean the urine out of the carpet, might actually make you cry. Maybe that one's just me.

15. If the boys once again refuse to sleep at naptime, do not be impressed when you walk by and catch a glimpse of one sitting quietly in his bed. Especially when you suddenly realize that the house smells strongly of baby powder.

16. Remember that someone always has it worse. At least I don't have sextuplets.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Return of The Funny

I feel like my blog has been severely lacking in humor lately. Maybe it's me, and I can't put the funny twist on things like I used to. Maybe it's the kids and they are not doing the things that make for hilarious blog fodder. I don't know.

But I do know one thing.

The funny is about to come back.

How do I know this? Well, it's easy. We are about to start attempt number three at potty training the twins.

Two child-sized fire hoses wildly spraying the bathroom and me? Now that's funny.

Yes, we have tried this twice before. Twice now I have put the twins in undies for seven days straight, and twice now I have recognized the fact that they are just not ready. It's time for round three. We can think of lots of things to spend a hundred dollars a month on besides diapers for three kids.

Oh, speaking of pee, I had all the kids in the shower with me over the weekend. No, our shower isn't huge, but it's slightly bigger than a bathtub so it kinda works to have an adult and four kids. But it's close quarters for sure.

Anywhoo, I was doing something and turned to see Drew sitting on the shower floor looking up at Grant with a curious look on his face. There was Grant, standing directly in front of him, belly stuck out in the way he does as he pees, and giggling. Had Grant just peed on Drew? I don't know. But I have my suspicions. Let's just say Drew got a really good scrubbing down that day.

Well, I'm off to tackle some projects before I start the don't pee on the floor or the filing cabinet or me or your brother or sister or the cat routine. Wish me luck!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This was created by MckMama, head on over to her blog to see what she and everyone else have NOT been doing this week! (Although, MckMama is in Kenya this week, so she might not be there for Not Me! Monday! But go there anyway to see about her adventures in the slums of Kenya.)

I have NOT been itching for spring. The lovely weather around here is NOT driving me crazy, I am NOT trying to change something, ANYTHING. I have NOT been painting and cleaning things in order to spruce them up and make me feel better.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned to my hubby that I wanted to re-arrange the living room. Our house is small, and I thought a new layout would open it up and make it feel bigger. Since Marty couldn't visualize what I was talking about, he wasn't to keen on the idea. And I do NOT know why Marty couldn't visualize it, since I did NOT describe my vision by saying something like, "Well, I want this couch here, and this one here. The TV might go here, kinda like this, if it will fit, but I'm not sure. And I don't know where I'm putting the desk. There just isn't a place for it." I mean, that's perfectly clear, right? Men. Sheesh.

I did NOT get tired of my husband's lack of understanding of the fact that I would figure it out as I went, and it wouldn't kill him to change it seventeen times till I got it the way I wanted. I did NOT decide to re-arrange the living room myself. Nope, NOT me! I would NEVER take on the task of moving furniture around without a man to help me out, and with three small boys underfoot. I did NOT intentionally do this on Friday, knowing he had had a long week and if he didn't like it, he wouldn't be willing to do the work to put it all back right away and it might grow on him. I would NEVER plan something so sneaky as that!

My darling husband did NOT come home on Friday night to find a TV in the middle of the living room floor, since it is a lot easier to lift a TV out of an entertainment center than back in. I would NEVER leave a TV sitting in the middle of the floor all day, just because it is too big and heavy for me to lift solo. Oh, and the reason it is too big and heavy to lift is DEFINITELY because we have a huge super-cool big-screen TV, NOT because it is an old big-backside TV that weighs a hundred pounds but isn't a big screen. (And because we are so technologically with it, we do NOT also have an 8-track player or a record player. We are cool!)

Once the TV was put back into place, my husband did NOT absolutely love the new layout. NOPE, I am NOT a rockstar-room-rearranger and a maker-upper-of-new-bloggy-words!

Along the way, I did NOT take all the little piles of clutter in the entry/living room/dining room/kitchen, and pile it all on the kitchen counter in order to have a nice clutter free rest of the house. I would NEVER have clutter in my home, and would NEVER just move it around instead of putting it all away right then and there.

I am NOT seriously considering having friends over this weekend in order to give myself a deadline to get the house clean.

We went to the Home show this weekend. It is NOT such a small town here that my husband basically knew almost everyone there. And since some of his "peeps" read the blog, I did not meet a few people and have them say something along the lines of, "Oh, here's the family! Which one stuck the peanut up their nose?"


What did you NOT do this week?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Friday Facts

Thankful for: Springtime! Around here, the cherry trees are blooming, the sun is shining, the tuplis are coming up and the red breasted robins have returned. Spring is on it's way! WooHoo!!

Looking forward to: It's a beautiful day, and it's leading to a beautiful weekend. I am sooooo looking forward to spending time sprucing up the yard, and spring-cleaning my house. Weather reports say it's gonna be sixty dergrees tomorrow, and I'm planning some good family fun. We haven't been to Birch Bay in a while!

What's for dinner tonight: I'm thinking chicken quinoa avocado soup. Something fresh and cilanto-ey with lime. Yum!

Listening to: Drew is walking around going "Ack! Ack! Ack!" just for fun. Emma's off to school, Ben's at the table, hiding behind a cereal box to conceal the fact that he is playing with Grant's favorite toy, and Grant is building the coolest train track ever on the living room floor. It's mostly quiet around here. I love it!

Missing: I have about twenty five socks right now that don't have a mate. I'm thinking there is a box around here that is holding a bunch of mis-matched socks. I plan on un-earthing that today.

Wanting/needing: I'm still wanting a new phone. But not needing one at all. :)

Quote of the Week:
I'm skipping the quote of the week this week in order to bring you a wonderful video that Tiffany Burke (Holland's mom) put together about the Bike for Haiti! You can see Emma in the bright pink helmet with the pink bike and the pink sweatshirt. Marty and I are the ones with the double stroller. This is an awesome video, thank you all for being a part of this!

Have a great weekend!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Most parents of small children dream of adventure. However, when it comes, it is not always exactly wrapped up the way we were hoping.

I got a phone call from my husband yesterday. Remember, he is an insurance agent. "So, sweetie," he said, "you know how I love to meet people who do not like their insurance, and write them with an awesome new policy and save the day? Do you think I should write the guy who just rear-ended me?" Haha. Very funny.

Marty's OK, and the car is fine. There is a little scratch on the bumper, but nothing worth taking the time and hassle for fixing. No, he didn't offer to quote the guy's insurance. He's sarcastic, not stupid. Most of the time.

At snack time, I was excited to offer the kids a special treat, the trail mix they had been asking for for weeks. It was the typical M&M's, peanuts, raisins and almond mix that most parents know their kids will pick out the candy and leave the rest. After lots of promises that they would in fact eat it all, I bought it for them.

Do you think they ate it all? Or do you think they ate the M&M's and the raisins, leaving the peanuts and almonds? (Hint: it was the second one!) Typical.

Oh, and Ben must have been looking for a way to get out of eating his peanuts, because he found some interesting hiding places.

"Hey, Ben, where'd you put the peanut?"

"Up dere!"
Yup. Here's my son, at the doctor's office, with a peanut up his nose. My favorite part of this whole experience was my dear friend Brenda's Facebook comment: "Is that his secret stash? Did you check there for anything else that's missing?!?!" Funny, funny. But actually, not a bad idea...

The doctor couldn't see him last night, so we went in first thing this morning. After a total of three hours including a trip across town to see an Ear Nose and Throat specialist, the peanut was successfully removed and Ben is fine. I took pictures on the beginning, but forgot about them as time drug on and on. My hubby was wonderful taking time out of his day to sit in the car with the three other kids. Have I mentioned that car DVD players are the greatest inventions ever? Well, they are.

And last night, I learned a valuable lesson. Well, Ben did as well. His lesson was, if you run away from Grandpa in the parking lot, you will get yelled at by both Grandpa and Mommy. My lesson was, if you teach your kids to stop when you say "red light", they might not stop when someone else yells "stop". It is important to teach them "stop!" as well. Because you are not always the one they run away from.

Sigh. I'm just glad that Grandpa didn't have a heart attack when Ben was happily playing the running away game in the dark last night.

Well, I was looking for adventure. This was not what I had in mind. I'll have to be more specific next time, I think....

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Happy Birthday!!

What do you get when you cross some leftover party decorations,

some kids who have had cabin-fever (and love to help in the kitchen),

a slightly crazy mom, a little girl with some artistic sign-making ability,

and an idea stolen from a rather creative family member?

You get a party for buddies!
Happy birthday, Grant and Ben's Teds. I hope you enjoyed your day! (And I'm really glad that you decided you wanted to spend your birthday going to Costco. I know, it was completely Grant and Ben's idea, but the fact that it landed on payday when we were almost out of toilet paper worked out great for us.)

They needed some help blowing out the candles (but really did try on their own!)

They enjoyed their cake,
(and so did everyone else.)
What a great way to break up the monotony of winter. (And now it's been blogged, so they can't try to convince me that Teds' birthday is any day other than February 26.)

Thanks again, Holly, for letting me steal this idea!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Fly On The Wall

If you were a fly on the wall of our house lately, you might have heard these:

From Grant: "I am going to make the coolest train track ever. Look, this is the coolest train track ever. Mommy! Drew is wrecking my coolest train track ever!"

"Emma, Grant said you threw gravy at him. Is this true?"
"No! I didn't do that!"
"Well then what happened?"
"I didn't throw gravy at him at all! I threw chicken at him instead."

And a fly on the window of Marty's car would have heard this conversation between Marty and Ben:

"Ben, are you excited for your first ride in Daddy's car?"
"Ben, have you ever ridden in Daddy's car before?"
"Really? Have you ever ridden in Uncle Dan's truck?"
"Interesting. Have you ever bungee jumped before?"
"Have you ever flapped your hands reallyreallyreally fast and flown into the air?"
"Have you ever gone into outer space?"
"I think I'm getting the theme here..."

If you were a fly on the wall stroller as we ran errands yesterday, you might have overheard the following things:

"Mommy, we have to go into the mall with you." I love taking every opportunity to tease my kids. "Why, Emms? You guys could just stay in the car." "Mommy, there wouldn't be anyone to take care of us. I tried to take care of them once, and I accidentally hurt them. Really bad. It wouldn't be safe." (For the record, I have no idea what she was talking about, and she can't remember, either.)

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry you got your finger stepped on. Does it hurt really bad? Oh, no! Do we need to cut the finger off? Are you sure? Well, I'm glad you are OK now."

"Well, sweetie, if you put your head directly in front of the baby's feet like that, he is probably going to kick you in the face. You kinda had it coming."

"Please stop trying to touch my eyeballs."

"Mommy, I think having six kids would be easy. Because there are two grown-ups, and there would be three for each grown-up, and three is easier than four." Well alrightythen.

"No, we do not lick the nice customer service person."

"Grant, get off your brother. Grant, get off! GRANT! Oh, sorry, Grant. Ben, get off your brother."

Monday, March 1, 2010

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday!, which is where I blatantly deny things that I might not want to otherwise reveal. This was created by MckMama, head on over to her blog to see what she and everyone else have NOT been doing this week!

This weekend, we did NOT have a fabulous yardwork day. I did NOT love the feeling of mowing the lawn and cleaning up the yard from the last few windstorms (which were NOT quite a while ago, we ALWAYS clean up sticks and branches right away and would NEVER leave a big pile of leaves in the backyard so long that the grass was a completely different color under that pile.)

We did NOT let Emma stay up during her quiet time and work her hard. She was NOT completely exhausted by the time we headed in at dinner time.

So there was NO way our sweet, kindhearted daughter would throw a piece of turkey at Grant while she was supposed to be eating. Nope, NOT our child! And I would NOT feel the need to send her to her room for a while. Discipline is NEVER necessary in our house, since our children are PERFECT!

I did NOT call her out of her room a while later, only to have her completely ignore me. Twice. I went into her room to have a little chat, and I did NOT find my five and a half year old sound asleep at six forty five in the evening.

I did NOT give her a kiss, shut off the light, and let her sleep. She did NOT stay sleeping for twelve hours.

I am NOT planning on "cleaning up the yard" with all the kids again. Often, actually. That was NOT awesome!

What did you NOT do this week?