Monday, August 23, 2010

Potty Training Progress Report #463


close to two years,

many, many attempts,

an entire gallon of Simple Green concentrate (after I was tired of the smell of vinegar, our cleaner of choice),

pee in the corner,

pee in the furnace vent,

pee on each other,

pee on me,

pee on the floor,

(lots and lots of pee on the floor)

some more pee on the floor,

some poop on the floor,

poop on the walls,

poop on each other,

poop on the baby,

poop on me,

an exhausted carpet cleaner


a thoroughly,


and totally,



we have



completed the potty training process.

I am pleased to announce that the twins are fully,


and forevermore

potty trained.

(cue angel choir singing hallelujah, as the heavens open and shine the most glorious light)


I need a nap, a vacation, and a massage.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Bedroom Makeover 2010

This week, I learned that my darling Ben has inherited his father's creative streak. My husband is a doodler, the type who will completely cover his church bulletin with drawings and doodles during the sermon, and it actually helps him pay attention. Apparently, Ben decided to try that skill during nap time in my room.

I didn't notice his creation right away, until I went to bed that night and found a beautifully decorated faux-headboard running the width of our king-sized bed, and about two and a half feet tall. The nice thing was he decided to tie the elements of the room together by creating a similar swirly pattern on our sheets as well.
Such a nice thing to do.

And I know you are all insanely jealous of out beautifully matched blue-sheets-with-green-wall-color-and-nicely-accessorized bedroom. I know, I worked hard on it.

Unfortunately the wall was impossible to photograph, as the glossy wall with the light ink wasn't something the camera could focus on. I was able to capture a bit of the creation, so you will have to imagine this on a much larger scale.
And yes, that pen did gouge into the wall. Texture is important in decorating, right?

Regardless of the thoughtfulness of the decor, the lesson had to be taught, so the next morning I put Ben to work removing his creation. Of course, pen does not come up easily, so it took a bit of scrubbing on his part.
And a bit of whining.
OK, a LOT of whining.
But still I persisted, knowing that this would be a good way for the lesson to sink in.
I helped him for a while, so that he would see that a lot of scrubbing in one spot would, in fact, remove the pen, and then left him to cry clean on his own.

After quite a bit of sobbing time, there was quiet coming from the room. I decided to go in and check on the progress of the pen-removal and found this.

Well played, Tom Sawyer, well played.

I have to say, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers work wonders at removing everything from walls, including ball point pen.

And, well, paint.

Of course, I didn't notice the paint-removal until I re-entered the room and saw that the glossy paint had lost all of it's glossiness during the pen-removal process.

And some of it's a tad lighter than the rest.

I never liked the color of our bedroom anyway. And I certainly needed something to do with my time. I've been getting bored with nothing to do lately, so a painting project is just the right thing.

I'm so lucky my kind, caring son was willing to show my what to do with all my loads of extra time.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Today's blog is written by Emma

i am gna go to the gren born and i am goeto rit a son from emma.

Translation: I am gonna go to the Green Barn and I am going to write a song. From Emma

(Note to self: teaching writing by having your child blog while sitting behind her and cutting her hair might seem like a good idea, but in reality, she tilts her head to the left when she's concentrating. It doesn't work well.)

Monday, August 2, 2010

Why I Beat My Husband Yesterday

"Wait, what?!? You're kidding, right? You did not just let Emma take the boys potty in a public bathroom by themselves!!"

I didn't hang around to find out the answer, but ran to the bathroom where I found my wonderful sister-in-law wide-eyed and looking a bit panicked, she had seen the kids go unaccompanied into the women's bathroom and wisely decided to follow. However, as she is not actively involved in the potty-training process, was able to be convinced by Emma that it was perfectly OK for them to all go into different stalls, where they promptly locked the doors and started crawling under the dividers. At which point I walked in to find unruly children, screaming and laughing behind locked bathroom stall doors.

And all of this at my great aunt's memorial service.

Luckily, the sternness of Mom's voice can command children to do the right thing, and I managed to order the kids to unlock the doors, finding that although Grant had gone into the stall dry, the excitement of the whole thing caused him to have an accident.

And I found Ben holding a nicely wrapped "package". You, know, the kind of "package" that is usually found in the little receptacle box in women's stalls. Yeah, that kind of package.

I went out to glare at my husband and get a change of clothes for Grant. Then back into the bathroom for some clean-up. By the time we were done, I was mad and frustrated.

And I'm pretty sure my sis-in-law was exhausted as well. Seriously, they don't have kids yet, and as I'd really like to have some nieces and nephews from them, I think I need to shelter them from this kind of child-exposure, and limit their kid-time to times where the kids play with them nicely and tell them they love them while giving hugs and snuggles and sweet smiles.

In Marty's defense, Emma told him she could take the boys potty and just ran off with them. He said by the time it clicked that it was a bad idea, they were gone into the women's bathroom and there was nothing he could do. Which makes sense, but I beat him anyway. Just for fun. Love you, honey!