Thursday, April 9, 2009

What Was I Thinking?

Today has been a blog-worthy day. I have not had many of those lately, as things seem to be running rather smoothly around here. Either that or I have lost all sanity and in the process of continuing to lose my mind, I am now losing memories of blog-worthy things. Entirely possible, but I am going for the former.

There was that time a couple of nights ago that we put the twins on the potty, then gave all the kids a bath. After the bath, I sent Grant out first to get a diaper from Daddy. Little did I know he took Grant into the boys' room to get diapered, for some reason I thought he took him into the living room. I then sent Ben into the living room to "go find Daddy!" not realizing he would be alone and naked. I pulled Emma out and gave her her towel and let her dry herself off, drained the tub and headed into the living room to give Marty a hand. I found Ben standing tall and proud, big grin on his face, feet apart, hands on hips like Peter Pan, and peeing all over the living room floor.

That was fun.

On another note, we have been having problems with our phone service. It seems to work fine until it cuts out and while I can hear the person on the other end of the line, they can no longer hear me. It worked great on a telemarketer this morning, but not so much when you are trying to catch up with your mom and your phone cuts out five times in the conversation. I called Comcast and they were sending a technician over this morning "sometime from eight am to noon."


I planned on getting up early to shower, but Ben had a rough night and Drew was not cooperating either, so by the time seven rolled around I was barely coherent enough to tell Marty that I needed more sleep. I snoozed for a while longer, fed Drew in bed, and finally got up and headed out into the living room. I still had a bit of a mess from my clothes sorting project I had done last night, so I needed to clean that up, get myself dressed and presentable, get the kids dressed, serve breakfast and try to look like I had it all together by the time the Comcast guy came.

I put Drew under the activity mat behind the baby gate, grabbed two diapers and clothes for the twins, and went out to the living room to dress them. Grant started crying. I told Emma to go potty and get dressed, and tended to Grant, who couldn't find lightning McQueen. Drew started crying, and Ben started crying from the hallway as well. I went to give Drew his bink, and found Emma in the bathroom, opening the door just wide enough for Ben to see her and get excited, and then slamming the door shut and making him cry. Again and again. And again.

I sent Emma to her room, and went back to the living room and binked Drew. Found Ben still in the bathroom, trying to get into the bathtub. Ushered him out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. He cried. Went out to the living room and got Ben diapered and dressed. Started hearing Slam! Waaaaaaa! again, and found Emma doing it again, this time with Grant, and from her room where she was in time out. I had a firm talk with Emma about slamming doors and listening to me the first time. Emma stayed in her room for a much longer time out and I dressed Grant, but by then, his pants were missing. Picked up some of the clothes that needed to be washed from being in the shed, and headed to the laundry room. Drew cried, Ben cried, Grant cried, Emma cried. Binked Drew and ignored the rest.

Emptied the dryer, putting the clean clothes on my freshly made bed. Gave a quick glance to see if there were any clean Grant pants, and saw none. Ben snuck into the bathroom while I was rotating laundry and made another attempt at the bathtub. Tried to usher Ben out of the bathroom, but he pointed at the potty, so I helped him out of his clothes and onto the potty. Drew started crying, and I hear Grant saying, "S'ok, Baby Dwoo, Gwant here for yoo!" That might spell trouble, so I booked it out of the bathroom and find Grant leaning over Drew's fence, just talking to him. Whew.

The phone rang and I grabbed it, but it cut out and I never got to talk to whoever was there. Now, what was I doing? Oh, yes, I needed to get dressed, so I headed into my room and got halfway dressed when Drew cried again, and I heard a crash from the living room. I ran into the kitchen and found Grant trying to get the toys out of the bin, but the rest of the clothes on the floor made him stumble with the bin and fall. He was fine, and I let Emma out of time out and after she apologied, I headed into the laundry room to put the rest of the clothes in there. Started a load in the washer, and went back out to find Ben in the bathtub again. I lifted him out, and failed to notice that under his long-ish shirt, there was no diaper. Forgetting that he was NOT the one without pants, I simply let him go play. Still only half dressed myself, I went into my room and finished getting dressed as the older kids decided to chase each other around the kitchen island. They were laughing, Drew was crying, but I decided to take the two seconds I need to do my hair, and pulled it into a ponytail and called it good.

I heard what sounded like a herd of buffalo crashing into each other in the kitchen, so I binked Drew, promising him that in just a few minutes, I would be able to pick him up. I checked on the herd, and was shocked to find Ben half naked. I suddenly realized that I had left him on the potty in the bathroom, and forgot about him. Whoopsie! Drew started crying again, that sad, pathetic, "Mommy! I want you! Don't you want to come play with me?!? I will giggle and coo if you just pick me up!" I called out my apologies to Drew and took Ben to get a clean diaper and his pants, then started the task of figuring out wherever Ben had gone and searched for a puddle of pee. Emma started singing Christmas carols to Drew, who screamed louder, as Emma seems to be as talented a singer as her mother, which is not a good thing.

The Comcast guy showed up and Grant greeted him at the door with no pants. I picked up Drew, who was instantly happy. I stopped running around, turned the TV on and started Cars for the kids, and suddenly, all seemed calm. I managed to find some pants for Grant and the kids were on their best behavior the entire time the Comcast guy was here.

Now, why didn't I think to have the television entertain my kids all along? Silly me.


Anonymous said...

What a morning - or was that 1/2 hour? I think them running around the kitchen island was my fave - my kids used to do that at our Fbks house. ;)
I used to say nuke instead of bink - but I like your making it into a verb better - made me chuckle. ;)

Anonymous said...

Girl.....I think it's time for me to take those monsters of yours so they can come play with my lil' monster!!!!! I'll be in touch to figure out a morning that will work! Thanks for the laughs ;) Stephana

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I'm exhausted just from reading this, much less living it!