Monday, April 20, 2009

Not Me! Monday!

Not Me! Monday! was created by MckMama, who is still with her darling baby Stellan in the hospital. Stellan was flown to Boston last week and is scheduled for a very risky heart surgery tomorrow, so please continue to keep them in your prayers!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! Big Giant Mess Edition!

Grant did NOT start taking his clothes and diaper off when he gets bored. I did NOT put a nice piece of John Deere green duct tape over the tabs. He did NOT manage to get the duct tape off and remove his diaper again, causing me to put a larger piece of duct tape on it. He did NOT remove that one as well, leaving me with no other choice, in order for me to keep my child's diaper on, I have to duct tape it all the way around. He is NOT getting excited about his new "tummy sticker," insisting that he has one every diaper change and that Ben does, too. He is NOT refusing to go on the potty as well, leaving me wondering how much duct tape I will go through until these boys are potty trained.

I did NOT start my period during the family pictures of the wedding I helped shoot this weekend. I am NOT totally frustrated, since by history, "Aunt Flo" should not be paying me a visit for another six months or so. Maybe she did not get the memo that I am still nursing.

I did NOT use my electric double breast pump in Amy's car as she drove us from the ceremony to the reception. Her car is NOT low to the ground and lacking tinted windows, there is NO WAY I am crazy enough to pump my boobies in the passenger seat while driving through Lynden.
Amy did NOT laugh at me the entire way to the reception.

I did NOT manage to spill two ounces on my own breast milk in my lap in Amy's car. I was NOT more upset at the wasted breast milk than the fact that I looked like I peed myself walking into the wedding reception, and that I made a mess of the pump.

Drew is NOT growing so much right now that on Saturday he nursed every hour and finished the ten ounces I pumped on Friday. I did NOT decide to start my baby on solids early in order to fill his tummy and get some sleep. He did NOT love the rice cereal and eat a whole bowl, and sleep well Saturday night.

At the same time Sunday night, Drew did NOT get super excited about the idea of more cereal, and make a big 'ole glorious mess while eating.

I did NOT take this slimy, sticky baby, bumbo and all, and put him on the changing table and just wipe him down with baby wipes instead of bathing him. I did NOT justify this action by telling myself that bathing babies every day will dry out their skin, and that rice cereal must be moisturizing.

I am NOT getting ready for a garage sale this weekend, meaning there are boxes and bins completely covering my house. I am NOT completely frustrated by the mess, but also thrilled at the idea that I will be getting rid of lots of stuff.

I am NOT spending my garage sale earnings on the new gas grill that I want, since my previous gas grill budget was spent on Marty's speeding-through-a-school-zone-while-talking-on-the-cell-phone ticket. I am NOT feeling like I really shouldn't buy a grill until I get my spedometer fixed, but at the same time feeling a little bit haughty that I haven't had a working spedometer for two years, and Marty was the one to get the first ticket. I am NOT feeling bad about feeling haughty about Marty's ticket, since he drives around the county every day for his job, and I drive maybe once a week.

My kids have NOT spent the morning fighting over the same three things. I am NOT about to take all three away, but knowing that if I do, they will just find three new things to fight about. I am NOT tempted to let this be a "TV on all day!" day so that I can save my last shred of sanity get some work done.


Paging Doctor Mommy said...

Oh girl, I am laughing so hard WITH you (not at you) right now. I can't get the vision of your duct taped children out of my head! Despite the fact that I was nursing Reagan every three hours around the clock, Aunt Flo came for a visit when Reagan was only 6 weeks old, and continued to make her monthly appearance from that point on.

CulyQFun said...

Wow, those were great!!!!
Love the duck tape one - I am going to tell Bill this one for sure.

Good luck at your garage sale this weekend, Gas Grills are the BEST.

- I am going scrapbooking with the girls for the entire weekend. It will be Bill's first time alone over night with the girls....should be fun.