Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Where Are the Gypsies When You Need 'em?

Today has been one of those days. You know the ones, where you just might sell your children cheap, or maybe even give them away. The last several days have been filled with relatively good behavior and sharing, so I knew today was coming, I just didn't realize that all the kids would hit the same low point at the same time.

This morning, I was trying to have a simple phone conversation with my sis-in-law Holly, since I hadn't talked to her in DAYS. There was a lot of catching up to do! I was in the kitchen, and could hear the kids giggling in the hall. Pretty soon the giggling turned to two kids giggling and one crying. I turned to find that Emma had set her little chairs up to block the hallway, Ben could not get out, and Emma and Grant were throwing toys at him. Really!?!? We have a strict no-throwing-anything-in-the-house rule, and throwing things at another person is strictly prohibited. I moved the chairs to free Ben, and sent Emma to her room with a scolding. Continue phone conversation. More screaming as Ben steals Grant's favorite teddy bear and is running away as fast as he can go. Save Ted (the bear) and let Emma out of her room. Continue call. Grant hits Emma, she hits back, Ben joins in and starts hitting both of them. I guess he didn't want to be singled out this time? Separate kids, try to resume talking. Hide in the boys room, putting laundry away, to try to hear Holly. Hear loud screaming coming form outside the door. Find Emma and Grant pretending to be babies, laying on their tummies and kicking and screaming, just for fun, you know, those games are always best when Mommy is on the phone. Pick Emma up and send her to her room. Again. Find a TV show to distract the boys so I can actually understand what Holly is saying. Holly has to go. Crapola! Holly is one of the only people I know willing to have a conversation with me while kids are screaming in the background! I swear, some days she keeps me sane. Well, that might be going a little too far, she keeps me close to sane.

The rest of the day was not much better. I don't know how the boys turned into pushing, shoving little monsters overnight, but they did. If one brother was in the way of another brother, the first brother would simply get shoved out of the way, and often, stepped on, too. I would return form one of my many daily trips to the bathroom to find kids jumping on the couches. This was not OK! I do not allow my children to run rampant through the house, causing whatever mayhem and destruction they choose, no sirree! Then why, today, do they think that none of the rules apply? Do I have a sign on my back that says, Push Mommy's Buttons? And if so, when did they all learn to read?

My parents used to threaten to sell me to the Gypsies when I would get out of line. I seriously considered it, but them realized, are gypsies still politically correct? Would I be teaching my children outdated terminology? Will my child be ostracized in school for not referring to them as "Eclectic Transients" or "Traveling-Americans?" To whom can I threaten to sell my children to in this day and age? I tell ya, when you aren't even sure how you can properly threaten your children anymore, things are getting out of control. Stupid political correctness.

5 comments:

Stephana said...

Oh Tiff, I feel for ya...I really do!! I say call 'em whatever you want and forget about political crap. The minute you get it figured out what you can and can't say, they'll change it on ya! This time of the year all the kids turn into monsters :)

K-Vic said...

Hahahaha! I often yern to sell children to gypsies... Not that it would be very benificial... I am part Bohemian gypsy, so I might have to buy them... I'm not sure about your kids though, maybe we could negotiate a short-term lease?? And on behalf of my fellow gypsies, you can say "Gypsy" all you want. -Kelina

Snowmommy said...

Hope today is better, just think, peace and quiet tomorrow!

The Campbell Family said...

We threaten with either gypsies OR the circus...

Tiff said...

Ooohh! The circus! I'll have to remember that one...