Alright, I have at the very most, three days left of being pregnant. Part of me is thrilled, I am tired, huge, and ready to be done with the lack of mobility, heartburn, peeing every forty minutes, heartburn, backache, heartburn, the list goes on.
However, I am trying to revel in these last days since (God willing) this is the last time I will be pregnant. Ever. Never again will I feel the joy of waking up in the middle of the night feeling a kiddo doing acrobatics in my belly. Never again will I experience the strange sensation of baby hiccups, and watch my belly jump. I will lose the oh-so-handy shelf for folding laundry, carrying food and hiding the lower half of my body. I will lose the ability to drop something in public, and just have to pause a moment, looking, before some stranger takes pity on me and picks it up before I try to bend over. I will lose the ability to take a nap every day and have my husband get home from work, see the chaos, and say, "You got a nap today? Good for you!" Three days. That's all I have left.
It's strange to move through stages in life. Most you don't notice. Some you do, like the transition from high school to real-life, from college to actual-real-life, since post-high-school-real-life isn't actually real life. You don't notice, really, the last time you just had to hang out at the club, you just change and that part of your life ends without much fanfare. Marriage is a big one, as well as becoming a parent. These are stages that as an adolescent, you expect to go through, knowing they will bring great change to your life. I never thought that the end of the baby stage would be a big one, but it is for me.
I am thrilled at the prospect of being forever done with diapers in a few years, the freedom of not revolving every aspect of life around nap times and schedules, and getting rid of strollers and diaper bags. However, I know this end-of-an-era will bring a little sadness, too. There will be times where I will look back at this stage of life and miss nap times, the chance to have a break in the day to myself. I will forget being up all night with teething children, and potty training (OK, I probably won't forget that for a while) and the constant mess that invades my home with no hope of ever being picked up. I will forget the fun discovery of a milk cup that has been missing for days, and the smell of trying to wash it. Who knows, I may remember all of this, but they will be fond memories of a perhaps simpler time.
It seems strange that this time in my life is actually simpler than the future may be, but I think it may be true. Yes, the day-to-day survival is a lot more complicated, but right now, I have children who love each other, who listen to me(for the most part) and who are not involved with negative influences outside our home. They look to me and Marty for guidance, and generally believe what we tell them. When we tuck them in at night, we have no worries of them sneaking out the window or having friends sneak in. Yes, this is a simpler time, and I refuse to let is pass me by while longing for something different. I will enjoy the time I have with these kids before I am no longer their number one favorite person, I will try not to complain(too much) about potty training or the mounds of laundry. As impossible as it seems, my life right now is a lot more calm than it will be in a few years, or even in a few days. I am going to enjoy my last three(ish) days as a mother of three, and know that this stage will eventually end. I'll quit rambling now, I have to pee.