I am going to brag on my husband for a little bit. He is a wonderful man and an excellent father. He gets home from work after a long day (and his days are very long lately,) and plays with the kids to give me a break. He likes to spend one on one time with all the kids, and takes them on walks, on outings, and plays games with them constantly.
He is also a wonderful husband. He brings me flowers for no reason, and he tells me that he thinks I am beautiful constantly, even when I am unshowered, frumpy, and covered in spit up. I love him dearly and I am so lucky he married me.
Why am I telling all of you this? Because I am about to throw him under the bus. That's why.
Tonight we tag-teamed bath time. I put the older kids in the bath, and Marty played with them and washed their hair and bodies while I bathed and dressed Drew. Marty headed out with him while I rinsed off the other kids. I got the shower going, and started to spray them down a little. Almost immediately, all three were screaming hysterically in obvious pain and rubbing their eyes. I quickly started trying to rinse their eyes of whatever was causing them pain, but spraying them in the face while they are already traumatized is a horrible thing to do. All three are screaming and needing help, and yelling "No, Mommy!" through their tears, but I knew I had to rinse out whatever was in their eyes. Marty came running in, trying to figure out what in the world was happening. As I was working, I asked him, "What shampoo did you use?" He replied, "I don't know, the one with the ducks on it."
I am sorry, but the words "Bubble Bath" are almost as big as the ducks themselves. How on earth do you miss that?!? I finished rinsing Grant, and Marty took him and I started trying to get Emma's eyes clean. Marty started telling me all about how HE did not cause their pain.
Me: I'm sorry, but how is this not your fault?
Marty: Oh, it is, but Grant doesn't know that. I left and they were happy. You show up and start rinsing, and they are suddenly in pain. Then Daddy shows up again and saves them. See? I'm the good parent. And you are, well...
Me: Never going to help you at bath time again?
Marty: No, remember, this was my fault. So to be responsible, I just won't bathe them again. It's all on you now.
Me: I don't think so.
Marty: What, you don't care about our children's well-being? You are mean!
My husband, everyone.