Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Winner of the Worst Contest Ever

In case you did not read all the way to the end of yesterday's post, I held a (really bad) contest seeing who could guess how many poop smears I would find in my thorough cleaning of the twins' room yesterday. I must say, I was horrified at some of the guesses. Horrified. And laughing, too, so don't think I'm actually yelling at some of you here, I'm yelling while laughing.

Here's the run down of the estimates:

Wendy said 12 smears in 5 places, with the strangest being in the inside of my camera bag. (Really, Wen? The kids know they will be beaten if they even think of looking at my camera, much less getting their hands on the bag. Oh, the horror at the thought...)
CulyQfun said 4
Shelly guessed 9 (Yikes!)
DJan said 15 (Fifteen?!? What is your mental picture of their bedroom? Do you watch a Charlie Brown Christmas Special and see Pigpen and think, 'Oh! There's Ben!')
YankintheUK guessed 5
SnowMommy said 7

OK, really? Do you all think I am such a bad housekeeper that there would actually be that many smears of poop in my children's bedroom?!? I am vomiting a little in my mouth just thinking of it. Really, I may come across as someone who does not take the time to clean, since I am blogging/playing/looking for Ben's Secret Stash all the time, (and let's just put it out there, you're mostly right) but I do keep my house sanitary, if not always tidy! Really!!

And I do have to remember that most of you have not seen the boys bedroom, meaning that you might think that is it large and filled with furniture and toys that might hide smears of poop. Notsomuch. It's small, holds two toddler beds, one dresser, and a shoe shelf/changing table combo. No toys, no other furniture, nothing. They don't even have a closet. Oh, there's the rug. But that's it.

Alright, I'll get off my soapbox and announce that the winner of the World's Worst Contest is...

drumroll please...

CulyQFun who is the author of 7th Inning Stretch With Team D, with her guess of 4 poop smears! She wins because she was the closest to the actual answer of one poop smear, which was oddly found on the floor under Grant's bed. I have no idea how that happened, and I'm starting to realize that I don't need to know.

Gina, your prize is a genuine poop smear from my house! I already have your address, so it's in the mail! OK, just kidding. Your prize is this paragraph. That's it. Hey, I did say this was the Worst Contest Ever, right?

However, I did find six sippy cups, a copy of my BabyTalk magazine, the warranty card for the boys' infant car seats (which was smeared with something that was most likely dirt, but I'm not convinced it's not poop), and an order form for my Kitchenaid stand mixer. These can be explained by the fact that the file cabinet was accidentally left unlocked for six seconds last week.

If you don't follow me on Facebook (and if not, why don't you? Become a fan of this blog by going HERE!) you would not have heard the update that during the cleaning process, I moved all the furniture to the doorway to mop the floor under the beds and dressers. I told the boys to stay out of there since the floor was wet, and of course Ben did not listen. Nope, he went on in and peed on the floor. My cousin Craig mentioned that he was probably trying to help, since he knew that Mommy liked the floor to be all shiny and wet. I laughed at that thought!

I got the room done and put back together by nap time, and even plopped the boys in front of the TV to go in and do some touch-up painting while they were unaware. You can get away with this if you don't get caught, but if you tell two almost-three-year-olds to not touch the wet wall, you will find paint everywhere. Guaranteed.

And what did Ben do while he was "napping"? Why, he peed on the rug, of course. Why wouldn't he? he always pees on the floor when he is supposed to be sleeping. Last night I put a potty seat in his room and told him to go there instead of he feels the need to go. It worked, so I'm a happy Mama.

Have a great day, all, and congratulations, Gina!


TheOldestStudent said...

Geez Tiff. I didn't guess 5 because I think you allow your family to live in filth. I've seen you attack things with Clorox wipes, with my own eyes. I DO know how creative Ben is at hiding things. I assumed poop would be another thing he'd be excellant at hiding! :)

CulyQFun said...

WoooHooo!!! I have never won a blog contest.....And I'd like to thank my parents, my children...nah just kidding.

I almost guessed none cause I didn't want you to think that I thought you didnt clean your hosue. But then I figured you put it out there and they are almost 3yr old twin...BOYS.

Anyways. Glad the room is cleaned!!

DJan said...

I've been RIPPED OFF! I know you saw "dirt" instead of "poop" Ms Tiff. I think you have just violated the Interstices of the Universe law. Ben knows what I'm talking about, just ask him. :-)