Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! Are you feeling guilty for drying the dishes with your shirt? Hope that no one saw when you ran to the mailbox in your jammies? Overcome with embarrassment after your child asked the grocery clerk, who did not have a baby in her tummy, if she "had a baby in her tummy?" Well don't be! Not Me! Monday was born out of MckMama's desire to admit some of her imperfections and reveal a few moments we'd all rather forget. You may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!

After a slightly snippy conversation with my darling hubby at midnight last night, when we were both extremely tired and wanting to go to bed, we did NOT have the following conversation:
Marty: "Sweetie, I'm sorry for being cranky and snipping at you. You don't deserve to be treated that way."
Me: "Thank you, honey, and I forgive you."
Marty: "You're welcome. (insert cheek-kiss here) And I forgive you, too."
Me: "Oh, no, I wasn't apologizing."
(Luckily, he laughed.)

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I did NOT recently make a delicious Quinoa and Avocado soup for dinner. It is served with lime wedges for squeezing, so I did NOT give each child a lime wedge and them immediately grab my camera, knowing what was coming. I mean, who does that? NOT me!

Here I will document Ben's thought process as he ate his dinner. Because it is more fun that way.

"Hmmm... I like squeezing this squeezy thing. Why is Mom taking pictures? Oh, because I'm so cute!"
"This thing looks tasty, I want to try it!"
"I'll take a big bite, and get the full taste of whatever this is. I like everything, so it's bound to be good..."
"What the?!?"
"How is it so tasty on my soup but not in my mouth?"
"You deceived me, little tasty thing! That's not right!"
And then, about three minutes later, he decided to give the lime another chance...
My darling Ben did NOT end up eating the entire lime wedge, one crazy face after another.

Grant, who is a little more cautious, did NOT have a great time squeezing, but refused to give in to my pleas of "Just try it, and I'll take your picture!" Smart kid.
And Emma, always up for some attention, did NOT agree to lick the lime in order to get her picture taken, too. There is NO WAY I would prey on her desire for attention in order to get a great picture. I mean, who would do that? NOT me!
And although she did not enjoy it, it was no where near her two-year-old days of dipping lemon wedges in ketchup and ranch dressing and eating them. If only I had had a camera out then.
I did NOT thoroughly enjoy the meal, and the wonderful entertainment that came with it.

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I did NOT recently come home from errands right before the bus came to drop off Emma. I decided to make it an adventure, stopping the van at the end of the driveway, pulling up the back hatch and tailgating to wait for the bus. The neighbor did NOT pull in and see us sitting there in the sun, at the end of the driveway, and think I was nuts. Well, he is probably used to me by now, and knows I am nuts. Anywhoo, when the bus came, I did NOT decide to let Emma sit in my lap and drive up the driveway, since this is something that Marty does with her all the time and I wanted in on the fun, too. I did NOT let the twins sit in the front passenger seat for the ride up the driveway.

This sounded like a great idea.

The kids did NOT do great, giggling and laughing, until it came to the point that we had to actually park the van. Our driveway is straight, and my parking spot is straight ahead, so I do a loopy-thing to get in at an angle. Picture driving a question mark, from the bottom. In the midst of the left turn, Grant most certainly did NOT open the passenger door, and the momentum of the turn did NOT attempt to push him out of my moving vehicle. I did NOT find myself sitting in the drivers seat, with a five year old chattering happily in my lap, reaching past a two year old to grab the back of the shirt of another two year old so that he did not do a face plant in the gravel driveway out of a moving car.

I did NOT gripe and complain to my darling hubby that night that he does dangerous yet fun stuff with the kids all the time, but the one time I try it, I almost kill/maim somebody. He did NOT respond, "Moms shouldn't do Dad things. That's just the way it goes."

I did NOT hit him.

What did you NOT do this week?