I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
I love my mother-in-law.
She really is fantastic, she is kind and caring and treats me like her own. She's fabulous. I wouldn't trade her for any mother-in-law out there, that's how much I love her.
But she failed me. Horribly failed me.
Let me back up a bit.
Some of you long time followers will remember this post, where I talked about our annual pumpkin carving contest and chili cook off. I made Rachael Ray's Autumn Harvest Chili, and if I do say so myself, it was great. However, this was a contest filled with firefighters and farm boys, so a vegetarian chili with mushrooms and zucchini did not impress these meat-loving men. I took last place, and was awarded the boobie prize. I'm still miffed that I didn't get new boobies out of the deal, but whatever.
I ended up writing in to the Rachael Ray show to explain that I did a great job on the chili, but I lost and I needed a new recipe to impress these burly men. And then nothing happened.
I went to bible study, and returned home early because Ben decided to catch a cold and start his initial coughing right outside of the classroom where I was going to drop the boys off, making me look like the horrible parent that brings sick kids to bible study. I was (kindly) informed that they could not take him, and I went home. I returned to a message on my answering machine from Erin at the Rachael Ray show!!! She had gotten my e-mail a while back, and they were actually considering me for another segment, not the original one that I had written in about, and would I mind calling her back?
By this time, my kids were staring at me as I was jumping up and down, screaming. And then they went back to what they were doing, as they are used to their mother's random outbursts of excitement.
I called Erin back, and got her voicemail. She called me back a while later and told me what they were looking for.
Erin: "We are actually focusing on in-laws in an upcoming segment, are you married?"
Me: Holy canolies, this is going to be great. I love Lori, and we can go on the Rachael Ray show together! How fun is that? "Yes, I am."
Erin: "Great! the segment we are working on is mothers-in-law that need a makeover. Would you say that your mother-in-law is in need of a makeover?"
Me: (Heart dropping) Crapola. She doesn't need a makeover, she's beautiful! And she's more stylish than I am! Why can't it be mothers-in-law that think their daughters-in-law need makeovers? Dangit, how can I still get in on the show?
Erin: (sensing my hesitation) "We are a family show, and this would all be in good fun, we would never make anyone feel uncomfortable."
Me: "Yeah, I just... my mother-in-law would love a makeover, but she really is quite stylish and doesn't need one."
Erin: "Oh, OK, thanks! We do keep info on file, so we will keep your number in case anything else comes up that we might consider you for."
Me: "Please do, I would love to be on the show, call me for anything!"
Did I tell her I had a lot of kids, including twins? No. did I tell her I had a blog? No. Did I do anything at all and do anything besides choke and stand there, dumbfounded and look like an idiot? That would be a no. Do I stand any chance of getting on the Rachael Ray show after this lovely conversation? Uh, no.
Darn my stylish mother-in-law and her good taste.
Just kidding, I love you Mom!