Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Today, my darling little baby girl goes to school.

She's not a baby anymore. I cannot hold on to her any longer, thinking she is going to stay little forever. But a part of me wants to.

Last night I was watching her in the tub, and she is as long as the tub is. Where did the time go? When did she grow from the sweet little wee one who fell asleep in my arms to this tall, beautiful big kid? I don't know. The last five years has flown by. And at the same time, I can hardly remember life without her in it.

I asked her this morning if she was really ready. "Are you sure?" I asked her, "you can stay here for another year and be little for a while longer!"

"I'm ready, mom! I'm really ready." She stood with confidence, in her Dora jammies and slept-in hair. "But, Emma," I pleaded, "You can stay here and be my little girl forever. Can't I just keep you little?" I reached out to hold her, bring her in close to try and hold on to the moment, one of the last moments of her non-school-attending childhood. "Mooommmyy," (complete with eye roll and big sigh,) "I want to go to school, and I'm not little anymore. I can go to school and be your big girl forever!"

I guess I will have to be happy with that.

Today is bittersweet. I know that she is ready. I know that she is excited, and I know that this will be so very good for her.

But I'm not ready to let go of my sweet baby. Even though my sweet baby is already gone, and has been for a while now. Instead, I have a confident, kind, enthusiastic and oh-so-smart big girl.

A big girl who is going to school today.



DJan said...

Ahhh. Time marches on. What bliss to have a little one around again, even if she's not REALLY little any more. It seems like yesterday that I watched my son get on the bus for the first time, and now four decades have passed by.

Your writing skills are exceptional, Tiff, and I really appreciate your ability to put me inside your home.

Anonymous said...

I remember a little (Big) girl getting on the bus with kisses tucked up her sleeve just in case she got lonesome. A long time ago. "The times they are a-changin"


Love my babes said...

I feel you Tiff. It is esp hard w/your first one b/c it is the unknown. but it really is easier if they are happy about it than crying. I hope she is loving it:o) Kolette goes in 2 yrs just misses the cut off and that makes me happy 1 more year to myself. But she is sooooooo ready and tells me daily how big she is. Harder on us then them.