Beatings, Beatings, Beatings

We have been home for almost a week. And we are still adjusting.

We were told by several people "in the know" that a stay at a hospital like ours would "completely erase three years of parenting." And they were right.

We were told it wouldn't be permanent, and that we would return to normal quickly. I was expecting we would be back to normal by now, but we aren't. It's a touch frustrating.

"The baby is NOT a horsie, please do NOT try to ride on him."

"Grant, do not hit, please keep your hands to yourself."

"Ben, do not hit, please keep your hands to yourself."

"Drew, do not hit! We use soft hands, OK?"

"Grant, why are you standing on the table? You know that's not OK!"

"Drew, get off the table! Please do not do things just because Grant does."

"GRANT! You may NOT stand on the top of the couch and try to reach the pictures above the window!"

"Grant, do NOT HIT! We use nice, soft hands with people."

"Drew, you must not touch the water dispenser. Yes, you are wet. That's what happens. Do not touch it again."

"Ben, teeth are not for biting. That's not how we show love. Well, even if you are playing kitty, you must keep your teeth to yourself."

"Wait, where's Drew?"

"Drew, get off the train table."

"Grant, go to time out. You do not kick someone just because they hit you."

"Drew, hands off the water dispenser!"

"Grant, please use your words. You may not scream."

(panicking, but speaking softly,) "Ok, Drew, Mommy is going to come over to you, and you need to not run away. There we go, please may I have my camera back? Please, please, please, oh, thank you, baby! Thank you so much for not dropping it!" (and then I collapse into a heap of relief on the floor)

"Who threw up on the piano?!?"


Anywhoo.

I have gone back to the point of not being able to sneak away for a two minute shower, because I never know what will happen while I am gone for those two minutes. Heck, if I even pee I will come out to a fistfight. It's ridiculous.

They spend more time in time out than out of it. Quite often, they will come out of time out, so their required apology, and hit their sibling again while apologizing for hitting. I want to pull my hair out.

I would like to know who took my sweet, kind, somewhat well behaved children and replaced them with the pint-sized cast of the WWE?

Seriously. It has to stop now.