Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Why I Need More Sleep

We were stuck in a rainstorm, in the van. The whole family was together. We needed dinner, and for some reason, we decided to order a pizza, and have it delivered to us in the van.

The pizza delivery guy came. It was Matthew Perry. You know, Chandler from Friends? Yup, he was our pizza delivery guy. It really didn't strike us as strange that he was delivering our pizza, it was just cool, and made us realize how great Birch Bay is. What was strange, though, was that he really looked like Matthew McConaughey. He was still Matt Perry, but with long hair and kind of a surfer attitude. But still, it seemed totally normal, in that way that dreams often seem. Matthew wasn't down on his luck and needing to deliver pizzas, he just wanted to. It was great.

We sat in the van, listening to the hum of the engine, the wipers swish-swish-swishing, and the pattering of the raindrops on the roof. We could see activity all around us, people shopping, running in and out of shops loaded with bags of locally made goodies. Matthew Perry continued to hang out with us. I saw a car pull up and recognized the driver as Papa Bear, the dad in a family whose blog I follow. I saw his wife Kingdom Mama (aka Sarah) run out of a shop with two kids and walk along the parking lot. "Oh, yeah," I thought, "I forgot they live in Birch Bay!" (The reason I forgot, in fact, is because they actually live in New Mexico or somewhere like that.)

I wanted to go introduce myself, but since she only came out of the store with two kids, I assumed her other three must have been missing, so I let them figure out where their kids were without me distracting them. She did not seem concerned in the least at the fact that she only had two kids with her. I inwardly applauded her sense of peace and calm. I remember thinking that I needed to be more like her, with the ability to stay calm and smiling, with my hair shiny and smooth even when my kids were missing. Her husband looked at her with such a look, everyone could see how in love they were.

We continued to chat with Matthew Perry/McConaughey about how lovely the palm trees were in the rain. The rain had stopped and the sun was out, shining a glistening glow on the condos that we were parked next to. These were high end condos, something out of Melrose Place. But the condos, the palm trees, the family from Kingdom Twindom, and Matthew McConaPerry all seemed so natural, settling into my heart that Birch Bay really is the greatest place in the world.

I tried not to watch Papa Bear and Kingdom Mama, it seemed inappropriate to stalk these people who I know through their blog without introducing myself. I finally came to realize that the other three kids were in the car with Papa Bear, and they never were missing at all.

Matthew McConauPerry caught a glance of Kingdom Mama and said, "Dude, she's hot!"

The kids were still mesmerized by the rain (which was still running down the windows and was being swiped away by the wipers, despite the fact that it had stopped raining outside or on Matt McPerry-hey, who was leaning in my husband's window chatting with him about sports). The kids ate their pizza, and naturally didn't spill or streak a single bit of pizza sauce in my van.

And this is why I need more sleep. Because it's when I'm really sleep deprived that I have strange dreams involving morphing celebrities, sauce-less pizza, and bloggy friends.


Mrs. Valente said...

That is the best thing I've ever read! I was crying I was laughing so hard!:) Thanks for making my day!

Briana and Bella said...

if i wasn't so tired myself i'd be laughing but its 3:30 am and I'm working on an English assignment and me and the computer are certainly NOT friends.
I think you do need more sleep.... xx

MamaOtwins+1 said...

That was great! I love how Matthew Perry's name kept morphing.

Shell said...

LOL!!! I can't remember my dreams in that much detail, but I have been having some weird ones lately. So weird that I started to wonder if I could be pregnant again, since the weird dreams only come with pregnancy for me.

DJan said...

But it all made so much sense in the dream, right? That's what always gets me when I wake up and think how normal it all seemed, then, and how come I didn't notice while dreaming? I would have to agree with you that you need more quiet time... :-)

TheOldestStudent said...


Matthew McConaPerry?! Hilarious!!

Matt McPerry-hey?! Priceless!!!!