Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Yesterday's attempt at potty training did not go well. Mainly because I never started. It was a rough day.

I promised my hubby that I would give it a try this morning, but I am exhausted from being woken nineteen thousand times last night. Between Grant and Drew's incessant coughing and Emma being convinced that there were a trail of teeny tiny ants in her bed, we didn't sleep much. I swear, it's ridiculous to wait for weeks for your kids to be well enough to attend church, and then finally go but have them get sick again two days later because not everyone waits till their kids are healthy. Thanks a lot, whoever bright sick kids to church. We are thrilled to be sick for over a month in our house. As soon as your kids get better, bring 'em on by for a playdate. I'd love to share a little something with you...

I do not drink coffee. I am not caffeine dependent at all, but I am sitting here at 10:00 in the morning with a Pepsi cracked open in the hopes it will wake me up a bit. I think I'll add a bit of Jack Daniels to it, and let the nanny take care of the kids while the housekeeper cleans up this joint. Than I can fulfill my duties as a stay at home mom and eat bon bons and watch Oprah while the pool boy fans me with palm fronds.


OK, I'm back. That was a nice little mini vacation there! I feel much better now.

Anywhoo, Whitney Lee asked me yesterday if I had any tips for potty training. As a matter of fact, I do. If you go to the top right left corner of this blog (sorry, I'm tired. I had to actually lift my hands off the keyboard to make an L with my thumbs and first fingers to figure that out) you will see a box that says search. You can type in anything and it will search my blog for posts for you. I did it for potty training last night, and that is why I am stalling this morning. I had forgotten how bad it was. And our carpet cleaner is currently in the shop, so I have no weapons of defense.

Here are a few tips from the previous potty training posts and previous potty training attempts. Enjoy!

1. It is good to give small, potty training children lots of liquids to encourage opportunities to learn to use the toilet. However, apple juice might not be the best choice, as stepping in a puddle of liquid is never pleasant, but stepping in a puddle of liquid and being uncertain of it's source, therefore having to identify- by smell- whether is is squeezed fruit or human waste is not a recommended activity.

2. A playpen is a good choice for smaller children during this time. You cannot keep both potty training children in the bathroom for the whole duration of the process, when one is done, he will want to leave. And when the other is done, you just might leave the bathroom and find the first child sitting on your seven-month-old's head.

3. Spending a lot of time with one child, encouraging the desired activity by reading books and singing songs is good.

However, you might come out and find that the other child has attempted to succeeded in removing shelves from the entertainment center.
4. Getting through the morning by chanting in your head- naptime is coming soon! is a good way to keep your cool through the morning. However, when naptime comes, the twins might refuse to sleep, instead opting to yell, scream, and jump from one bed to the other. They might be doing this despite warnings, removal of buddies, blankets, and pillows, and resulting in your seven month old being unable to sleep from all the noise and crying for two hours. This might lead to undesired adult activities like curling up in a ball with a pillow over your head trying not to cry, or stress-eating a half a family sized bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. And an entire bag of microwave popcorn.

5. Contrary to what I have been telling myself, the second day is not any easier than the first.

6. You must appreciate the baby steps in the process. And still appreciate these steps the second time that Ben runs to the bathroom, sits down and pees straight through his underwear.

7. Little boys (at least, my little boys) pee about every ten minutes. Logic would say that you should then put the boys on the potty every ten minutes, but it does not seem to work that way. They can sit on the potty for twenty minutes, and then get up, wash their hands, and go out in the living room and pee within 4.2 seconds.

8. Letting your child pick out their own undies is a great way for them to be involved. However, leaving them in the middle of the process to check on the other twin might lead to some interesting choices.
9. It may seem like a good idea to use all the candy that the kids have collected at the many parades they have attended during the summer, but it is really not a grand idea. Most of it is hard candy that will not be fully consumed by the time they pee on the floor again. M&M's are a much better reward.

10. Now is the time to bust out hand-me-down toys. Namely, if the kids have an older cousin who loved Thomas the Train so much that you were given a huge Rubbermaid tote full of tracks and trains, bring it out to use as bribery. It will work so much better than offering yet another hard candy that is slightly crushed from being thrown to the ground from a parade float.

11. Choosing to spend some of naptime to build a really cool train track can help keep the little ones occupied, desiring more trains, and most importantly, off the carpet.
12. If your husband stops by to pick up his phone, sweet talk him into staying to let you take a shower. He might be at your house for twenty five minutes and have to deal with three accidents, giving him an entirely new perspective on the stress that this may cause you. And he might let you hog the computer after the kids go to bed, knowing that if you don't get a little down time you might just scream and run away from home.

13. Having the carpet cleaner out and ready is a great plan. However, making sure you actually have the soap that goes in the carpet cleaner is a better idea.

14. Finding really old carpet cleaning solution in the back of the laundry room, after desperately searching for something that you can use to clean the urine out of the carpet, might actually make you cry. Maybe that one's just me.

15. If the boys once again refuse to sleep at naptime, do not be impressed when you walk by and catch a glimpse of one sitting quietly in his bed. Especially when you suddenly realize that the house smells strongly of baby powder.

16. Remember that someone always has it worse. At least I don't have sextuplets.


The Campbell Family said...

I had to have a pepsi just to have the energy to READ about your potty training!

It's gonna be hard to switch from my bon-bon-eating-soap-opera-watching life in a couple of months (fyi, I don't really do either but I thought if I reminded you what I usually do during the day, you might cry).

Hang in there! Love ya!!

Whitney Lee said...

Thank you so much! I needed that. I'm thinking that potty training one little girl might just be a snap in comparison. And you may have lost the carpet cleaner but you appear to still have your ability to laugh at what most would consider cause for voluntary commitment!

Tiff said...

Wait, you can voluntarily commit yourself?!? Like in a nice, quiet place with soft walls and Jell-O? Oh, I might have to consider that... Do you think they have bon bons and Oprah there?