Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Fly On The Wall

If you were a fly on the wall of our house lately, you might have heard these:

From Grant: "I am going to make the coolest train track ever. Look, this is the coolest train track ever. Mommy! Drew is wrecking my coolest train track ever!"

"Emma, Grant said you threw gravy at him. Is this true?"
"No! I didn't do that!"
"Well then what happened?"
"I didn't throw gravy at him at all! I threw chicken at him instead."

And a fly on the window of Marty's car would have heard this conversation between Marty and Ben:

"Ben, are you excited for your first ride in Daddy's car?"
"Yes!"
"Ben, have you ever ridden in Daddy's car before?"
"Yes!"
"Really? Have you ever ridden in Uncle Dan's truck?"
"Yes!"
"Interesting. Have you ever bungee jumped before?"
"Yes!"
"Have you ever flapped your hands reallyreallyreally fast and flown into the air?"
"Yes!"
"Have you ever gone into outer space?"
"Yes!"
"I think I'm getting the theme here..."

If you were a fly on the wall stroller as we ran errands yesterday, you might have overheard the following things:

"Mommy, we have to go into the mall with you." I love taking every opportunity to tease my kids. "Why, Emms? You guys could just stay in the car." "Mommy, there wouldn't be anyone to take care of us. I tried to take care of them once, and I accidentally hurt them. Really bad. It wouldn't be safe." (For the record, I have no idea what she was talking about, and she can't remember, either.)

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry you got your finger stepped on. Does it hurt really bad? Oh, no! Do we need to cut the finger off? Are you sure? Well, I'm glad you are OK now."

"Well, sweetie, if you put your head directly in front of the baby's feet like that, he is probably going to kick you in the face. You kinda had it coming."

"Please stop trying to touch my eyeballs."

"Mommy, I think having six kids would be easy. Because there are two grown-ups, and there would be three for each grown-up, and three is easier than four." Well alrightythen.

"No, we do not lick the nice customer service person."

"Grant, get off your brother. Grant, get off! GRANT! Oh, sorry, Grant. Ben, get off your brother."

5 comments:

Snow Mommy said...

I'm still giggling. You all crack me up. The train tracks remind me of when my kids were little and Nate told Lily, Trains are not toys!

Jenn @Cuddlesandcameras said...

OH! The Joys of mommyhood! Thanks for sharing :) This helped Brighten my morning :)

YankintheUK said...

That's hilarious! I used to keep track of the funny things kids said, and the funny things grown ups say in response... I need to start doing that again.

DJan said...

I knew it! Ben has been able to fly by flapping his hands! I thought I saw him not long ago... great stories, Tiff, and I think within a few years your kids will be learning how to delete old computer files that incriminate them.

CulyQFun said...

Those are great!!!!