Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! As always, this was created by MckMama, and you can go to her blog to see what she and hundreds of others have NOT been doing this week!

I did NOT let my baby boy crawl around in just a diaper and shoes on the carpet. I mean, common sense would tell you that a Velcro tab against carpet would stick to the carpet, not the diaper, and the diaper would come off the baby. Sheesh, everyone knows that, right?
And no, there are NOT that many cheerio crumbs on the floor in my hallway, I photoshopped them in to make the other moms who choose not to vacuum the edges of their floors on a twice-daily basis feel better. Isn't that nice of me?

Our neighbor brought over some cupcakes to share with us. We had a few left over that I put in the middle of the island for later. Grant did NOT decide to pull a bin into the kitchen to climb up and take a bite out of each cupcake and put it back. I tell ya, if my child is going to be naughty, he would NEVER choose to deface every cupcake in the pile!

I put him in time out and we had a long talk about not taking things without asking, etc. etc. A few hours later, he did NOT go back and eat more cupcake, and I did NOT find him with a big, sneaky grin on his face. My children always listen to me the first time, and NEVER do things that they know are naughty. Especially Grant.

Anywhoo, I was so mad that I took him into his room and sat him on his bed and yelled at him had a stern talk. I left him on his bed and left the room in a huff.

Now, I have a cool thing in the boys' room. It is a doorstop that can lock into a piece that is attached to the baseboard. It can keep the door open so the boys cannot close their door, which is great for me. I usually have it in the position where you can close it, all it takes is a little tug on the door and it comes apart from the stopper thing.

This day, I actually had it locked in the open position.

Can you see where this is going? I am furious, leaving Grant's room mad because he is really ticking me off, but I certainly did NOT grab the door and pull, thinking it would pop off the stopper and close...
Really. I did NOT pull off the entire baseboard. And if you look closely, you will NOT see that I never removed all the wallpaper when I painted, just the stuff that was visible.

I am NOT a giant dork.

I did NOT let my kids help make applesauce on Saturday.
I most certainly did NOT start roaring at my daughter when Marty got the camera out. I mean, really, who does that?
Emma is NOT so used to my crazy antics that she is just looking at me, waiting to see what I will do next.

Grant did NOT sing a little "apple, apple, applesauce!" song as he worked.
And Ben did NOT get bored very quickly when he learned that he could only turn the crank one direction. Oh, and I did NOT get frustrated with my darling hubby when Ben returned from having his hands washed with crazy wet hair. There is NO WAY I expect my husband to understand that if the kids are doing something cute, I will take pictures, and they will be blogged, and so he should not mess them up beforehand!
I did NOT can fifteen quarts of applesauce, which added to my twenty-two quarts of peaches, is really making me happy for good food this winter!

What did you NOT do this week?