When Philosophical Conversations Go Wrong

Last week, we were out running errands and I changed Grant's diaper in the van. Yes, I know that stores have changing tables and such, but it is soooo much simpler to keep all the kiddos contained in the vehicle, so I keep diapers and wiped and a changing pad under the seat and we do our changing there.

I told Grant that I needed to change him, and he responded, "Gwant vewy poopy." "Oh, yeah?" I said, just making conversation, "You are very poopy, huh?" "Yup, Gwant has big poopies!" He seemed excited about it. Good for him.

Suddenly, Emma piped in, "Mom, do you know who had the biggest poop of all?" No, and I really don't think I want to know, either... "No, Emma, who has the biggest poop of all?"

She looked at me in all seriousness. "God does. God poops bigger than anyone."

How would you respond to that? You know, after you have picked yourself up off the parking lot and stopped hyperventilating, since you were laughing so hard?

I tried, I really did. We talked about how God doesn't poop, because God isn't a person, He's God. She asked me if I was sure that God didn't poop, and I thought about it. I think it is pretty safe to say that God doesn't poop, but how do I know for sure? Do I google "Does God poop?" and see what Bible verses come up?

I love that she is seeking out God and anything she can learn about Him, but I am a little afraid for the questions that will inevitably come up. I am very strong in my faith, but how do I explain my faith to others, especially when they ask the really random stuff?

A while back, it was, "Mommy, is God a person?" "No, sweetie, He is God. He doesn't look like you or me, He is just God." "No, Mom, I think he is really a person named God."

Maybe I should write a book, "Everybody poops. Except God."