Last week I was on my semi-monthly trip to Costco, list and budget in hand, trying to load up on as much as I could without running out of my allotment of cash, trying to avoid the super-cool-fun area in the middle full of things I want, but don't need. I stood in front of the diapers and sighed. I am so tired of spending $100 a month on diapers. I needed diapers for the twins, but I knew that $42 could buy a lot of groceries.
So I didn't buy the diapers.
The boys are ready for potty-training. The only thing holding them back right now is me. Most people would think, "You spend over $200 a month on diapers and baby food, and you are putting off potty training? That's crazy!" Maybe. But I think it's legit.
I am not afraid of potty training the twins, but rather the fact that the twins would then be potty trained. I love the fact that even though it is crazy, I can take all four kids out by myself without the stroller. We are close to freedom, and I am afraid of what is going to happen when that freedom is interrupted by standing in line at Costco with a cart full of groceries and a baby in the front-pack, and having a little boy (or two) say, "Mommy? Potty?"
I have visions of trying to herd the whole clan into a public restroom, trying desperately to keep them all together and staying somewhat sanitary, ("Hey guys! Look what I can do!" as a child lays down on the bathroom floor and rolls around,) and doing my best to not lose a child and/or have one (or two) peek under the doors of the other stalls, just to say "Hi!"
And what happens when they both have to go potty at the same time? Everyone knows you never tell a newly potty-trained toddler to "just hold it for a little while," so do I risk it, telling one to hold it while the other goes, and face the high probability of an accident, or do I put them on separate toilets and run back and forth, baby Drew hanging out in the front pack trying to grab onto every dirty surface he can reach, meanwhile Emma is being ignored as I try to keep the twins from falling into the toilets/eating the toilet paper, and she decides to go potty herself and I don't realize that she is in the next stall, I just think that she is gone?
These are the thoughts that plague me. So I have been stalling on the whole thing.
But this is going to happen. No matter how long I stall, I will be faced with this eventually, so I might as well start now and save the $1,200 for something useful, like our power bill.
Today starts Day One of full-on potty training. I have my carpet cleaner out and ready. I am stocked up on stickers and candy. I have a potty for inside the van, to try and avoid the above scenario if possible. We have loads of big-boy undies. We are ready. Right after I finish this blog post, I am starting.
My heart is racing. There is no going back from here. Once I do this, it's done. I have had my last "easy" outing. I am ending the chapter of having three kids in diapers.
Dangit, I have run out of things to write in order to stall. I guess it's time.
Pray for me, would you?