Monday, June 1, 2009

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! this was created by MckMama, and although I still can't upload pictures, you can click HERE to see what everyone else has NOT been doing this week.

I was so frustrated last week over the fact that the twins did not sleep long enough at naptime, and Drew did not sleep at all, that I did NOT just put screaming Drew in his swing, give him a kiss and tell him I loved him, and leave the twins in their beds and close all the doors and go out into the living room for five minutes by myself. I did NOT lay on the couch and put a pillow over my head to drown out the crying, and try to get myself together.

The next day, I did NOT take the baby monitor outside while I worked in the garden, and forget to plug it back in when I came in. So I was NOT oblivious to the fact that instead of napping, Drew cried for forty minutes, and in my tired, sinus-stuffed-up state, I had no idea. I did NOT feel horrendously guilty that I had left him crying two days in a row. Nope, not me!

I did NOT snitch one of the kids' pudding cups, even though I am supposed to be off dairy. And I did NOT eat it with one of the baby spoons, because everyone knows that pudding tastes better when eaten with a little spoon.

We did NOT go to bed one night this week and forget to close everything up. Me, the person who is always afraid of someone breaking into our house while we are sleeping, most certainly did NOT leave the front door standing wide open all night long.

My brilliant husband did NOT decide to feed Grant cherry Jell-O while he was sitting on a pile of clean laundry. I do NOT have to re-wash a white sheet, and hope the red stain comes out.

I did NOT just walk into my bedroom to put Drew down for a nap and find Emma curled up in my bed, watching cartoons by herself. I did NOT then realize that she had been missing for about a half hour and I hadn't noticed.

Earlier today, Grant did NOT run up to me, throw his arms around my legs and hug me tight. I loved it, but when he ran away, I did NOT notice that he had rubbed boogers all over my legs.

And finally, there is NO WAY Emma's pre-school teacher took Emma to the beach and actually let her bring a dead starfish home. Kelina is NOT mean enough to actually bring me a dead, slimy, gooey, stinky sea creature and tell me to let it dry out and my daughter should keep it. In our house.

As I was being told the procedure to properly dry a dead, slimy, stinky sea creature, I did NOT give Kelina the stink eye and threaten her with plans for how I will torture her future children. NO WAY am I ungrateful like that to someone who cares enough about my daughter to take her to the beach and then out to the movies. And Kelina did NOT give me a little smirk and refuse to apologize for bringing dead sea life into my home.

I am NOT going to buy her kids a drum set in retaliation.


TheOldestStudent said...

I see... The starfish incident has lowered me from "Auntie" back to "teacher" hu?... Oh. well, small price to pay for the look of horror on your face, and the creative and amusing ideas you came up with to get me back... By the way, you forgot to mention one very important fact... That your darling daughter loved her starfish SO much, that she wanted to name it, not only after herself, but also after her beloved mother. Upon some thought, and playing arround with the names Emma and Tiffani, the lovely, gooey, starfish, is the proud owner of the name... Emily. Love ya Tiff!

Carmen O. said...

this from the woman who has a 20-year-long-dead squirrel (or something like that) stuck in a jar?! :)