Monday, June 29, 2009

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! Are you feeling guilty for pretending not to notice as your child sucked toothpaste out of the tube? Feel like a slouch for wearing your husband's big, baggy t-shirts all day? Well don't! Not Me! Monday was born out of MckMama's desire to admit some of her imperfections and reveal a few moments we'd all rather forget. This is right up my alley, you may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!

I did NOT ignore my kitchen and dining room floor for close to two weeks. When I finally pulled out the Swiffer Wet Jet, I did NOT have to change the pad thingy four times because the floor was so nasty.

I did NOT wake up in the wee hours of the morning hearing strange noises, only to realize that it was the furnace kicking on, which it hasn't done for a while. I did NOT silently curse the weather since July is in two days, and the furnace should not kick on again till September.

I have NOT been going on the same pedicure since before Easter. The nail polish was NOT so chipped that my daughter was finding animals in my toes, kinda like laying in the grass and finding cloud shapes. I finally took nail polish remover to them before my shower, but I did NOT haphazardly set the remover bottle in front of the space heater on the counter before I hopped in the shower. I did NOT get out of the shower to find the plastic bottle filled with highly flammable substance had actually melted to the point that there was a hole in the bottle. I did NOT then tease my husband that if I had burned the house down, he would have a hard time explaining that one at work. Since, you know, he is our insurance agent.

I did NOT post my Facebook status as: Tiffani Stauffer is heading to Walmart with the family in tow... What a great Saturday night! on Sunday. I was NOT totally bummed when I learned at eight PM Sunday night that the weekend was indeed over.

What have you NOT done this week?

4 comments:

Bethany and 3sonsplus1 crew said...

Ha Ha, I'm really laughing!! Funny stuff!! Thanks for your comment, too- I hadn't even thought of the whole protein/dairy angle....liking that :)

that's the story of my life... said...

You are so Funny! I used to do Not me Mondays but I felt nobody liked them..No comments..So I want to comment on yours and tell you to keep going!! Does Marty do quotes and Life insurance??

All My Monkeys said...

I have never worn toe nail polish so long that it just grew out.

And I have never done that with a Swiffer. I could not do that with a Swiffer right now. Does dried smeard banana come off with a Swiffer wet? What about hardened melted cheese? I'm just asking that, just in case it ever happens. ;)

DJan said...

Tiff, I have NOT enjoyed your post! And I have NOT done three skydives on Sunday, and I have certainly NOT enjoyed all the incredible sunshine. And of course, I have NOT fed the birds and haven't cleaned up after them three times a day!

Smiles, DJan