Monday, June 15, 2009
Today is sweet Emma's fifth birthday! I am absolutely amazed at how fast the time had flown. And at the same time, it seems she has been in my life forever.
I am so incredibly proud of my girl. She is amazing, she is incredibly smart and very caring. She loves her little brothers and takes good care of them. She has such a joy for life, and is so much fun.
Five years ago today, I woke up at about three a.m. with something that felt like cramps. I fell back asleep and kept getting woken up every few minutes, but being that it was three a.m. it didn't really hit me that it was my exact due date, and I was having contractions. They were very light for a while, and I started timing them and it became clear. I let Marty sleep a while longer and marveled at the fact that today, I would be a mother.
Around six, I woke Marty up and told him he would not be going to work that day. I casually got ready, and we left the house around seven. The contractions were about five minutes apart, but still relatively easy. We went to Marty's work to drop something off, and then to the McDonald's drive thru to get some breakfast. We got to the hospital about eight, and got checked in.
It still seemed easy. I had a birth plan, I wanted a natural birth, and my midwife continued to check in. When we got there, I was two centimeters dilated. By noon, I was at two and a half. I was assured that babies take time, especially first babies. The midwife headed back to the office and told me she would come check me again at three.
Not long after she left, the contractions started getting a lot harder. I got in the tub, which helped a bit, but I started to feel a ton of pressure. I remember thinking, "If I have to do this for six more hours, I will need an epidural!"
I got out of the tub about 1:30, and asked the nurse to check me. She told me it was really not necessary, I had just been checked an hour before and it had taken four hours to dilate a half a centimeter, so I should just be patient. I insisted she check me anyway. I was at seven and a half centimeters.
Things progressed quickly. I felt the need to push and the nurses called my midwife back. She came flying in and told me to go ahead and push, three contractions later, I reached down and pulled my beautiful baby to my chest. In that instant, my whole life changed. I was a mother.
My sweet Emma was born at 2:11 pm, seven pounds and nineteen inches even. She was beautiful. The fast labor helped, her head was perfectly shaped and she was gorgeous. It was truly love at first sight, I had never experienced such a sudden and overwhelming surge of love and fierce protectiveness. This was my daughter. I was her mother. And I cried.
And now, five years later, I still feel that fierce love and protectiveness. It has changed, of course, as time will change things. But she is my baby, no matter how old she gets. I only hope I can do right by her in raising her.
I love you so much. You have no idea how much you mean to me. Happy birthday, sweetheart. I hope today is the best day ever. You are my favorite little girl in the whole wide world!
- Tiff probably should have been cleaning at 12:00 AM