Monday, March 9, 2009

Hold The Earplugs

This weekend was our local Home Show. Marty likes to go since it is a great place to network, and I like to go because there are real, live grownups to talk to. My wonderful Mother-In-Law offered to watch the twins for us, since two-year-olds and the Home Show do not mix.

Last year, we went to the Home Show with all the kids. This was before I was pregnant with Drew, and the twins were about 14 months old. We put them in the double stroller and figured we would be fine. NotSoMuch.

One of the great ways that the powers that be promote the Home Show is the live radio broadcast, which is right by the entrance. Great idea, except if you are two idiots that think that bringing twin one-year-olds to the Home Show is a smart move. The entrance was crowded, we were trying to get our tank of a double stroller through the crowd and we were right in front of the radio booth while they were doing the broadcast, when the twins decided it was a good idea to start the whole let's-scream-as-loud-as-we-possibly-can-continuously-and-not-stop-ever.

The greatest thing of all was NOT the fact that the crowd stared, mouths hanging open; or the fact that the radio broadcasters started shooting me dirty looks and apologizing over the air for the screaming; but the fact we were stuck literally five feet from their microphones and that NO ONE MOVED. Seriously, they just stood there, watching the freak show that is our family embarrass ourselves completely, and no one moved out of the way. The twins were still screaming. I tried pushing the stroller close to people, saying a polite "Excuse me! Excuse Me! A-HEM! EXCUSE ME!" But still no one seemed to be able to move out of the way. Not because they did not see me, oh, no. They were staring at the twins and looking at us, with bewildered looks trying to convey that we were truly horrible parents and that we were ruining the radio broadcast. The twins were STILL screaming. I finally said something along the lines of "Will ya get out of the way?!?" Then the crowds parted and I was able to move the stroller away from the microphones and into a corner where I tried to get the boys to stop screaming, to no avail.

Anywhoo, this year we did not bring the twins, as it would be very embarrassing to get kicked out of the Home Show. We took Emma and Drew, and for the first time, realized what it would be like to have two kids. Since we went from one to three, we have never had the experience of one kid for each parent. I have to say, it was a very easy day.

Now, please understand that in no way am I suggesting that moms with only two kids have it easy, or that it is not difficult at all. I know it is hard to have any number of kids, I am just saying that when you only have half your brood, there is a noticeable difference. I'm sure Michelle Duggar would think that my four would be a walk in the park, and I am pulling my hair out.

OK, back to the subject at hand.

The Home Show was great. I got to see a lot of people, I found myself listening to sales pitches just to listen to an adult speak to me like an adult, even though I already have vinyl windows and cannot afford a hot tub, much less new siding. I got swayed by the guy selling shower cleaner and bought some. Part of his presentation involved using crayon on a mirror, and the cleaner actually removed it with no scrubbing at all. I leaned over to Emma, who was watching intently, and whispered, "Do not ever think it is okay to draw on the mirrors with crayon, OK?" Causing the people behind me to start laughing.

We only had tears once when Emma's balloon floated to the ceiling, but luckily there were a lot more balloons available. Now I just need to find the time to read all my new brochures.


Love my babes said...

I totally understand what you mean about having less kids w/you than what you have given birth to. It just changes the dynamics and 2 parents to 2 kids much easier than 2 parents to 4 kids. I feel like a crazy woman when I go to church w/1 parent to 4 kids. Calgon take me away. Glad you had a great time!

Snow Mommy said...

Glad you got to go to the home show. I would totally be telling Lily the same thing about crayons!