Monday, May 18, 2009

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama, check out her blog to see what everyone else has NOT been doing this week!

I put my new Mother's Day hubcaps on my van this week. The instructions said to use a rubber mallet to put them into place. I do not have a rubber mallet, so I did NOT decide that kicking them while wearing crocks would be the same thing. When that didn't work, I did NOT just wrap a regular hammer with packaging material to make it soft.

It did NOT work like a charm! The first time.

I was NOT so excited about my creative problem solving that I did a happy dance instead of looking at the hammer, and was unaware of the fact that the packaging material has split during the installation and now bare hammer was visible.

I did NOT put a hole in the next hubcap.

I did NOT decide to just put the front two on, since they were very similar to the existing hubcaps and when we are driving, no one will notice. And when we are still, people will be staring at the crazy kids so entranced by my wonderfully well behaved children that they will not notice.

I was so utterly proud of myself for finally having four hubcaps, and for only $16.88. I did NOT learn the lesson that 'you get what you pay for' when about ten miles down the road the new hubcap loosened and twisted, snapping the valve stem off the tire.

Those $16.88 hubcaps did NOT cost me $119 when I had to buy a new tire.

In other Not Me! news, Grant is NOT up to more trouble creativity at bedtime. He did NOT throw everything out of his crib at bedtime AGAIN.

And he did NOT throw everything into Ben's crib even though Ben was asleep. Ben is NOT sound asleep under the mound of stuff in this next picture.
See? There he is. And I am NOT clueless as to why this picture turned when I was uploading it.

We took the kids to the park yesterday. This conversation did NOT happen between Emma and her eight year old cousin, Nate.
Nate: Emma, don't cross the river there, it's deep!
Emma: What?
Nate: It's deep there!
Emma: Wha(sploosh!)
Emma did NOT end up soaked to her ears, and laughing about falling in the river.
She did NOT fall in again a few minutes later.
Ben did NOT attend Grandma and Grandpa Stauffer's 60th anniversary party with this beautiful shiner.
I swear, I do not beat him. Oh wait, it's Not Me! Monday! that could be taken wrong. That black eye was the fault of someone other than me. The story will come later!


Secret Mom Thoughts said...

All the stuff on the sleeping boy is too funny. The stuff kids sleep through. Aww, poor boy with the shiner.

Carrie said...

I'm laughing my head off here about the hubcaps because that is NOT, ahem, that IS something that would happen to me! I'm sorry though, that it ended up costing you extra $$$. Your kids are sweet.

Anonymous said...


Leah said...

OMGosh. The minivan story sounds like a nightmare! How about hopping over to Toot Your Horn Tuesday. It'd probably do you some good! =)

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I am loving your hubcap story. That is just priceless!

Carrie O' said...

I love reading your are by far one of the funniest people I know!! I just don't know where you find the time?