Ben did NOT relish his cupcake with reckless abandon.
And Emma did NOT decide to be messy on purpose, because what Ben was doing looked like fun.
Grant did NOT spend a total of an hour and a half in time out and miss the entire party.
And we were NOT "those parents" that kept their son in time out for an hour and a half over one tiny bite of hot dog.
And I was NOT "that mom" who simply smiled, said, "Hey, it's his choice," and took pictures.
I did NOT decide to put the boys in sweatpants instead of jammie bottoms a couple of nights this week. In the morning, I did NOT just change their shirts, since they were already wearing pants. NO WAY am I that lazy/behind on laundry.
Drew did NOT decide to be a pill this week, and spend an entire day crying every moment I was not holding him. I did NOT just set him down and let him cry while I did something, and he did NOT start watching the kids' cartoons and stop crying. During the older kids' nap/rest time, I did NOT put my four month old in his bouncy seat and put the Baby Movie on for him to watch while I took a shower. I did NOT take a super-fast shower, all the while freaking out about the studies that say that TV viewing by babies will re-wire their brains and cause ADD. And I did NOT suddenly stop worrying about his brain and start freaking out, wondering if Marty had locked the front door and if someone was breaking in at that very moment and stealing my child. I did NOT finish my shower and run to the living room to find my son happy, content and giggling at the TV.
I do NOT worry about my fourth child like he was my first.I did NOT just ask my husband for a Not Me! Monday! idea, and he did NOT just reply, "I don't know. You've kinda had an attitude all week."
Marty did NOT get tired of giggling like a schoolgirl after telling Grant to say "Clap!" and having him reply, "No Crap, Daddy!" He did NOT move on to telling Grant to say "I like Tex!" (one of the cars in the movie Cars,) and having Grant say, "I wike sex, Daddy!"
I am NOT dreading that phone call from his Sunday School teacher.
That is NOT a great example of why I have "had an attitude" this week. Seriously.