This week I talked to my friend Tracie on the phone. Well, that's not unusual, but when she lamented a little about her husband not making any plans for her upcoming milestone birthday, I did NOT trash him a little ("I can't believe he's not doing anything! He knows how important this is, is he just being lazy?") to try to stoke the fires of the pity party, knowing full well he had planned a surprise party for that very night. Sorry, Gordon, I didn't mean it!
I was NOT part of a group of people (who shall remain nameless) who gathered our talents and created a beautiful porcelain sculpture for Tracie's front porch that was set up the night of her party.
Alright, loyal bloggy friends, let me ask you a question. If your friends all got together and made you a beautiful sculpture complete with a planter box and a rock garden with a fountain, wouldn't you be thrilled? Wouldn't you thank them profusely and be enamored with the idea that your friends cared that much?Tracie wasn't. And she didn't.
And for the life of me, I do NOT know why.
After the party, we did NOT kidnap Tracie for Ladies Poker Night at our friend Tarah's house. I was NOT the only one there who knew how to play poker, and I was NOT the only one who did not win a hand the entire night.
When Tarah went to walk some of the other gals out to their cars and stayed outside a while, we did NOT all flop on her bed. I did NOT flick a few cracker crumbs in there on purpose, and we did NOT attempt to take a few pics.
I am NOT the brilliant one who is working as a photographer, yet could not figure out the timer feature on my camera.
I did NOT then attempt to hold the camera up using my feet and take a picture with my big toe.
We did NOT give up and just take a picture of all of our feet on Tarah's pillows.
We did NOT get up, straighten her bedspread and return to the table before she came back in, oblivious to our adventures.
Tarah is NOT freaking out as she reads this.
Grant has NOT been wearing the same shirt since yesterday. He did NOT look at me with those big, brown eyes, and say, "Gwant keep car shirt?" I did NOT let him sleep in it last night. And I did NOT let him wear it again today.
I finally picked out the color scheme for my accent walls in my living room! WooHoo! When I excitedly showed them to Marty, he did NOT reply, "Wait, that's what you were talking about? Honey, I cannot stand that color!"
I am NOT back to square one.
Tarah, your mouth is still hanging open.