Thank you for your interest in potty training. I am thrilled that you get so excited about going on the potty and that you love wearing your big-boy undies. I am very proud of you.
I know that you are only two and a half, but I would like to ask a favor of you. If you would be so kind as to try and remember to flush the toilet, I would be forever grateful. If that is too much to ask, simply closing the door behind you when you leave would be fantastic. See, in the mornings when I am trying to get Emma ready for school, get breakfast for everyone, solve Grant's dilemma of where his Mack truck is, and save the cat from the baby who is trying to teethe on his ear, I do not have the time to follow every step of your potty training process. And of course, you do not want me to, which was made clear last week when you yelled at me to get out of the bathroom, and then slammed the door behind me.
But I digress.
See Ben, the thing is, if I cannot follow you every step of the way, and I am running around like mad again, there will be another opportunity for Drew to sneak into the bathroom, pull himself up on the toilet and decide the used toilet paper in there would be fun to chew on. Really, removing used, toilet-water-logged paper from my ten month old's mouth is not something I can handle again. That's right, Ben, the two times I dealt with that this morning are more than plenty for me.
So if you will grant me this simple request I would be forever in your debt. I know you would rather have a happy Mommy than one you have to visit on Thursdays in a padded room, right? Can we work this out?
Thank you for your consideration. You are truly a delight.