Monday, November 14, 2011

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday!   Truly one of my favorite blog posts, Not Me! Monday! is fabulous.  She's a smart one, that MckMama.

During my computer time this morning, I clicked on my Blogger dashboard and saw that I was down a follower.  I don't like to lose followers, but I can't say that I blame them because although there are truly funny blog posts that happen here, they really don't do you all any good if they never get out of my head and onto the computer.  So I made the decision to stop right here and blog for you.

You're welcome.

I did NOT make up imaginary situations in my head where the lost follower just gave up Internet for the sake of becoming Amish, so drawn by a baggie of friendship bread that someone gave them at the office that they have decided through many hours of mashing the bag that that way of life was truly their calling, and in the process they deleted their Blogger account to pursue a simpler life filled with bonnets, aprons, and churning butter.  NOPE, I would NOT convince myself of that rather than admitting that the lost follower probably just consciously said something like, 'Tiff never blogs anymore.  Delete!' 


I am NOT supposed to be fixing my bathroom sink right now while I sit and blog for you in the hopes that someone else doesn't stop following become Amish.  NOPE, our bathroom sink is NOT so clogged that water never drains, and we have NOT had standing water in that sink for a few days straight.  We do NOT have to use the other bathroom for everything lest we try to rinse out toothbrushes and inadvertently immerse them in the nasty water that has been sitting there for days.  You know, like when you use a public bathroom and when you wipe, you mis-judge the bum-to-water distance and end up dragging your knuckles into public-toilet water, making you jump and throw up in your mouth a little; even though the toilets in Target are probably ten times cleaner than your own sadly neglected toilet at home, since Target toilets get cleaned daily and you have three boys that pee everywhere.

Anywhoo.  What in the world was I talking about?

Oh, yeah.  So on my to do list today is to fix the sink and clean out the freezer.  We have a side of beef coming tomorrow and I want it to be all pretty and organized.

Speaking of, we took the entire family after church on Sunday to make a Costco run, and wandered aimlessly (which my husband just LOVES, he does NOT get impatient at Costco AT ALL) and loaded up on groceries. 

We passed by the CARS 2 display, and I managed to sneak a copy into the cart without any of the four highly observant children noticing.  I did NOT accidentally sneak it past my own husband, however.  We are ALWAYS on the same page and I would NEVER think that he would totally get that "I'm going to go look at these Wheat Thins over here!"  actually means "Distract them so I can get CARS 2 without them seeing!"   And then when I say, "everyone look at Daddy and bat your eyelashes at him and he will give you a sample of that snack over there,"  I do NOT think that he understands that it is code for "Now I am going to slip this movie into the cart between the meatballs and the bottled water!"

NOPE.  I do NOT forget, quite often, that my husband cannot read my mind.

OK, in case you were wondering what a side of beef had to do with the Costco run, I did NOT burst into tears yesterday as I completely re-arranged the pantry to make room for all the new purchases.  I did NOT feel completely overwhelmed at the vast amount of food we had for our family as I remembered bringing five pounds of flour and five pounds of cornmeal to people in the slums of Kenya, and how incredibly grateful they were for those seemingly small, insignificant things.  I looked at my pantry and thought of how many meals we could make for the starving children in Kenya and I cried.  We are so very blessed, and I never want to forget it.

OK, moving on.

I did NOT once again decide to vacuum the computer, which led to vacuuming the cords under the desk, which eventually led to re-arranging the entire living room.  NOPE, I do NOT do things on a whim like that.  And I certainly do NOT do these whimsy things while my husband is at work, it would make much more sense to have a big strong man around when pushing furniture.  I most certainly do NOT do stuff like this on purpose so that I can do it my way and not have to stop while he says, "you know, what if we tried it like this?" to which I would say something like, "hey, this was my idea, why do you think you get an opinion?!?  It's not like you live here or somet... oh, wait."

Marriage advice from me:  If you want something done your way, without any other opinions, wait till he's at work.  I know, I should write a marriage book. 

p.s.:  My hubby loved the living room update.  And if he hadn't, I wouldn't have minded at all if he wanted to move it all back the way it was.  He would have had to do all the moving himself, however, but I wouldn't have minded at all!

p.p.s.:  I love the Amish.  And bonnets.  And butter.  Kinda like how I fully respect homeschooling and the Duggers; it's a great way of life, just not for me.

p.p.p.s.:  The living room update has actually led to a bit of a technical error in out house, where we actually have to disconnect the home phone to open the pantry.  That's on the to-do-list for tomorrow, but since I put off today's list to blog for you all it might not be fixed till 2014.  It happens.


Mrs. Valente said...

Just as a little side note, I have fixed MANY a bathroom sink with a toilet plunger. I could, but I will not, write a fun post about all of the things that come OUT of a drain. ;)

Rob Brower said...

Tiff, I like to use "Liquid Fire" on clogged drains. I get it at Hardware Sales. It's pretty much just Sulfuric Acid so definitely keep it away from the kiddos, use rubber gloves, eye protection and when done seal the bottle in a plastic bag but it will surely get the job done!

Tiff said...

You guys are awesome. The original plan was to scoop the standing water out of the sink with a cup, and then remove the drain under the sink and clean the whole thing out. However, I Saw the beautiful and brilliant Sarah's advice and went for the plunger. It worked beautifully, and it was free!! WooHoo!! Who says blogging to put off housework doesn't pay?!? ;)

Unknown said...

As the only female in a house of 3 males, I find that toilet thing quite often.

TheOldestStudent said...

That whole misjudging the distance between bum and nasty public toilet water thing... My worst nightmare! I HATE it when that happens, and even just reading about the possibility made me throw up in my mouth a little... Thanks for that.

Can't wait to see the living room update!