Drew. Oh, Drew.
My fourth and final child, the two year old spitfire who loves life and finds joy (and chaos) at every turn. The one who seems to defy all rules, including the laws of gravity and every child-proofing device ever made.
I never thought I'd find something that could stop him. From his first concussion at nineteen months to the fact that he can do a twenty five piece puzzle with all the pieces flipped over so he can't see the picture, he is not normal. I have never met a two year old that can do what this kid can do.
For a while, I thought he was unstoppable.
It was last week. I was in the kitchen, prepping and freezing 50 pounds of chicken when I heard from the living room. "Mommy, help! I's stuck!" Being the attentive, responsive, caring mother I am, I replied, "Well, get un-stuck then!"
It didn't work. After some pretty serious wailing, I washed the raw chicken off my hands and went to investigate what exactly it was that caused this child, this unusually strong and independent child, to be stuck and unable to move.
I saw it. And then I laughed.
Mr. Crazy had been climbing in the windowsill again. He knows he is not supposed to, he knows that he gets in trouble every time, but he also knows that when Mommy is covered in raw chicken, it's gonna take a lot to get her to come check things out.
We had decorated for Halloween.
My dear unstoppable child was stuck in a tangled mess of polyester spiderweb, long strings of white web hooked around the latches of his firefighter jacket. He looked at me, his eyes huge and scared, wrapped up in web that still hung from the top of the windowsill.
Apparently, Halloween decorations aren't just for decorating. And spider webs are extremely strong and catch-y, even the fake kind.
I'mma gonna have to remember that, and file that information away for future use.
So if you ever come over and find fake spiderwebs hanging from my windows in July, don't judge me, m'kay?