Yes or No?

Ben's Ted has been missing. Again.

As of yesterday, it had been almost a week. I had looked everywhere. It was not in the crisper drawer(s). Not behind the oven. Not in the couches, or in Emma's sock drawer, on top of the hot water tank, or behind the desk where my shoe had been. I could not find it anywhere.

Ben was really starting to miss Ted. A few days ago he started crying for no apparent reason, so I lifted him into my lap to talk. I asked him what was wrong, and he cried, "I miss baby Ted!" Poor kid. He's not one to show his emotions like that, so I knew it was really bothering him. "Buddy, do you remember where baby Ted is? Do you know where you put him?" He looked at me and replied, "He gone forever!" and then he collapsed into my chest sobbing. My heart broke as I held him.

Last night I put him to bed, still without baby Ted. He hadn't mentioned him since the sobbing-in-a-pile-on-my-lap episode, but I decided to bring him up again. While we prayed, I said, "...and dear Jesus, please help us find baby Ted. Ben misses him a lot." When we were done, Ben was a little surprised. "Mommy, you ask Jesus to find baby Ted?" I stroked his head. "Yes, baby, Jesus cares about the things that are important to you. He knows you miss Ted, and He wants you to find him, and we can always ask for His help."

Ben considered this for a moment. The sheer magnitude of a huge God that created everything caring about his Ted was something to marvel.

"Mommy?" he asked in his cute little voice. So deliberate in his speech, wanting to make sure I understood. "Did Jesus say yes, or no?"

Oh, the lessons we can learn from a child.

The fact is, God does answer each and every prayer. Sometimes He says yes to our requests, and sometimes He says no. Sometimes, He says wait. But our requests are heard by God, and He answers every. single. one.

Isn't that fantastic?

Now I know that every person alive has heard God say no to some request or another. And that hurts, because we don't understand it. I don't know why my sister died at the age of twenty-three, it doesn't make sense to me. But what does make sense to me is the fact that God is in control, and He knew it was her time to go, and whatever that reason was, I won't understand it on this side of heaven. That's OK, because I know He loves us completely.

Last night, God said yes.

I prayed a lot last night, as I went through the house, searching for Ted. I felt led to a pile of laundry in my room, and behind the stack of bedding that we had borrowed for the new bed, was Ben's baby Ted. Since that pile of folded-neatly blankets had been there since before Ted had gone AWOL, and did not look disturbed, I had not yet looked behind it. But there was Ted.

My friend Kelina was over and we went into the boys' room to give Ted to Ben. But Ben wouldn't wake up. I was so excited to see his little face when he saw Ted, but I was literally shaking him, holding his arm and using it to smack himself on the head, and he slept through it all. I tucked Ted under his chin, held in his arms, kissed him and left the room.

This morning, Ben came running into my bedroom with the biggest grin on his face and Ted in his hands. "Hey, Ben! Oh, look, there's Ted! Where did he come from?" I asked, and he grinned at me. "Jesus found him!" he replied, his face lit up with joy.

I smiled at my boy. "Yes, baby, He sure did."

Pot, Meet Kettle

"OK, boys, you may go in the living room, as long as you stay super quiet. Drew is still sleeping, OK?"

It is early this morning, and the boys are done with their morning snuggle. They want to go out into the living room and start playing with the toys, by themselves. They love the independence of being able to go out unsupervised, and I appreciate a few minutes to pee and brush my teeth, well, unsupervised.

All is calm for a while. I am brushing my hair, and can hear their little voices chattering away. Suddenly, Grant seems to get too loud for Ben, and Ben shushes him. However, Ben's shushing is apparently too loud for Grant, and Grant tells him to be quiet. So Ben shushes him. Grant gets louder. "Benja-Ben! You be quiet! You no wake baby Drew!" "Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!" "Benja-Ben, be quiet!" "SHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Back and forth, louder and louder.

"Hey, boys! Please stop. That is not necessary!"

Instant silence. I go back to brushing my hair, wondering if a little baby powder at the roots would count as washing it today. There is suddenly a little boy behind me.

"Mommy?" His baby voice is just stinking adorable.

"Yes, Grant?"

"Mommy, Ben is the loudest boy ever." He stands so serious, looking up at me with those sweet, deep brown eyes filled with concern for his twin.

"You think Ben is the loudest boy ever?" I ask in the way parents do, repeating the statement to buy time to think of an appropriate response, and to try and keep from bursting out laughing. He stands there still, fiddling with his baby Ted, looking up over his gently furrowed brow in total concentration. "Yes, Mommy, Ben is the loudest boy ever."

Time is not helping me. I cannot think of an appropriate response, but a response is what he is looking for. "You know, buddy, I think you might be right." That's all I can muster, any more words and I will lose it completely. I manage to match the seriousness in his face, as happy at my response, he slowly turns and walks out of the room.

I return to brushing my hair and finally release the laugh that has been just below the surface. It's going to be a fun day.

Friday Facts

Thankful for: Today, I am thankful for my wonderful neighbor who, upon realizing we did not make it to the school bus this morning, came over to see if we were OK. Which made me realize that it was Friday today and a school day, a fact that I had missed completely. Ensue running-around-the-house-to-get-everyone-ready-super-fast mode. And then drive Emma to school, unshowered and still in my jammies. Very thankful that I didn't run into anyone in the parking lot.

Looking forward to: I am so very excited our tax return came today! WooHoo! I am looking forward to spending money on things we need, but have gone without. For example, I have been using the same razor for two years. Yeah.

What's for dinner tonight: I don't know, but this money just might burn a hole in our pockets and we might splurge. Maybe, just maybe, we'll hit up the ever-so-fancy Costco hot dog line. Yup, we're living large.

Listening to: The Imagination Movers on TV, and Grant playing with his fire truck. Drew's sleeping and Emma's at school (finally) so the boys are happy watching TV. I have been trying to enforce turning the TV off early in the day, so that might not last too long, though.

Missing: Not missing my shoe. Not missing my Costco card. Still missing the hairbrush that disappeared out of my bathroom drawer during Marty's birthday party a year and a half ago, but have given up on that one. Wow, I think I'm good right now. Scary!

Wanting/needing: Definitely some organization around here, since I can't even keep track of what day it is vs. what day Emma goes to school. Must work on that one.

Quote of the week: From Ben: "You gotta get over here and get me apple juice!" and "You gotta change me!" as well as "You gotta come here!" oh, and don't forget "You gotta get me this show!" Yeah, that's his new phase. It's fabulous. Let me tell you, it's working out really well for him. I love it. OK, I'll stop now before the sarcasm drips off your screen and makes a little Tiffani-sarcasm-pool on your desk. Trust me, that stuff's hard to clean up.

Don't forget to visit Tiffiny at The Story of Our Life, who created Friday Facts! What are yours?

Ask Tiff! Part Three!

Alrighty, folks! I aim to finish the Ask Tiff questions that you, my loyal readers, want to know!

Stephana said...

How many times a week are you jogging/running?

-your running partner!!

Well, my darling running partner, since I always run with you and only you, you would know as much as I! For the rest of you, Stephana is my good friend, fabulous hairdresser, and my new running partner. As a wonderful new year's resolution to get in better shape, we wanted to run together. And it sounds so fit and fun to have a running partner. We have a great time, talking about running, Facebooking about running, joking about running, it's almost as good as if we were actually running together.

I love having a running partner! It just makes me feel athletic.

Anonymous said...

When you were young and dumb....were you always responsible and make the right choices?
Might be some funny stories there!

Brenda A

Oh, I'm sure there are some funny stories there! Like any child, I did not always make the right choices, but I think I was overall a pretty good kid. Nothing like my Dad, though, I mean, I never hung Bradley.

Have you ever heard the hung Bradley story? No? Well, let me fill you in to try and distract you from the fact that I am not telling my own story of childhood disobedience!

When my dad was a kid, he was playing cowboys and Indians with Bradley, a neighborhood kid. Since Bradley was the bad guy, my dad thought it would be a good idea to put a chain around his neck and around the top of the swingset. Sure, it was all fun and games, till Bradley didn't like it anymore and accidentally kicked the bucket he was standing on out from under himself, and was suspended in the air by a chain around his neck. My dad, being the completely responsible kid he was, got scared and ran away, leaving Bradly to hang.

Luckily, my Grandma saw this out the kitchen window and saved Bradley. And I have to say, many times in my childhood I thought a punishment was too severe, but nothing compared to what happened to my dad after he hung Bradley.

Snow Mommy said...

Are you ever going to buy new tennis shoes?

I am so excited that since you asked this question, I have found my tennis shoes! It's funny though, they had been missing so long I had built them up in my mind to the point that they were practically new, but reality means they are a lot more worn than I remember. I will buy new tennis shoes fairly soon, especially since I need a good pair for all the running I have been doing lately. :)

Tiff Answers, Part Two!

Ok, here's the (very late) answers to your burning questions, here is Ask Tiff, Part Two!

Anonymous said...

Have you ever had a "defining moment" in your life? An "ah-ha" moment when you knew things had to change, were going to change? What was it and what did you learn?

This is a great idea...I may do it on FB

See you tomorrow!! Kristen

I think everyone has defining moments in their lives, and I can think of one in particular. I won't go into too many details, but I had decided that I wanted to see what it was like to live life my way, and not following God. It was fun for a while, but not real fun, just the temporary fun that makes you regret it the next morning. I got really good at the perfect hangover cure!

Well, as usual, a life lived the wrong way tends to lead you to the wrong place. I found myself evicted from my apartment when my roommates (whose names were not on the lease) disappeared one day while I was out. I lost my job and had no money. I was homeless, jobless, and the friends I did have left were not good influences.

It took me a while, but I started to realize that it was my string of bad choices that led me to that point. I couldn't blame my roommates or my boss for my situation, I would never have been at that point if I hadn't relied on unreliable people, or been so very unreliable myself.

I was able to turn my life around and return to God. It's funny, but when you follow His plan for your life instead of your own, it always works out better, and is so much more fun and fulfilling! Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to realize that, though. After looking for a job for over a month, surfing from couch to couch and finally moving back in with my parents, I was hired at Lids as the assistant manager, by the man who became my husband. And the rest is history.

Beth said...

When will your brother and I get to have dinner with all y'all again? =)

How did you decide on all the kids' names (first and middle)?

When you are able to get a bigger place, will you get any other pets besides Teddy your cat?

Love you! ~Bethany

Beth, I love you, too! I don't know when we will see you next, I'll have to call you and we'll find a time to have you come up. :)

We actually picked Emma's name before we were married. My middle name is Leone, my mom's middle name is Leone, and my Grandmother's first name was Leone. We knew we wanted to continue that tradition, and I liked the name Elle Leone. Marty didn't like Elle, and he suggested Emma. This was back before Rachel on Friends named her daughter Emma, so it wasn't the most popular girl's name ever then. When we found out we were having a girl, we knew it was our Emma. It wasn't till after that we discovered the name had soared up the ratings and that she would be one of many, many Emmas.

The twins were more difficult. Once again we had girls names picked out in case they were girls, but we struggled with the boy names. We had liked the name Benjamin, but had brought that up to people and someone who was closely related immediately said, "Oh! Yeah, then we can call him Benji!" and we immediately decided against the name. See, our family is BIG into cutesy nicknames, and we are not. So we wanted to be careful. Marty is still called Mart-fart by his family.

Grant is the name of our pastor at church, he started as Marty's middle school pastor, and moved through the church as Marty grew. He was also his high school pastor, his college pastor, and moved churches after Marty did and was the pastor who did our pre-marital counseling as the young marrieds pastor. He is now the senior pastor at our church and is a wonderful, caring, enthusiastic, Godly man. We were honored to name our son after him. Grant's middle name is David, after my dad.

We has a really hard time with the second twin name, and finally came back around to Ben, with the agreement that he would never be Benji. He is Benjamin Ryon, Ryon is Marty's favorite cousin who he spent a great deal of his childhood getting into trouble with.

Drew was a tough one. Because Marty had basically picked out the other three kids' names, I got to pick this one. I could not decide, though, (Marty had veto power and did not like the names I loved) and by the time he was born I had it narrowed down to Andrew, Jason, or Jackson. We were almost certain he would be Andrew, but when he was born, we knew he did not look like an Andy. He was taken to the nursery soon after his birth, and I could not pick his name without seeing his face, so he was a couple hours old before we decided he was still Andrew, just Drew instead of Andy. We really like Drew's name because he has choices later in life. Also, Drew Stauffer sounds like a football player, Andy Stauffer sounds like a baseball player, and Andrew Stauffer sounds like a lawyer or business owner. He is Andrew Martin, after Marty.

As far as other pets, I would LOVE to get a dog or two. I really am a dog person, and had dogs growing up. Plus, I would love to have a furry vacuum that can keep the kitchen floor cleaned! It's hard because we have the perfect yard for dogs now, but not the greatest house. Or time to take care of a dog. Or money to buy dog food. But I am really looking forward to having a dog again!


Well, I was planning on finishing this today, but I'll have to do a part three instead. Grant has decided that today is the day he wants to go pee-pee on the potty, and I'm not going to do anything to impair that. Remember the 27,000 diapers? Yup, I'd like that to end as soon as possible.

Have a great day, and I'll do my best to answer the rest tomorrow!

McDrama

I got this e-mail from my wonderful mother-in-law Lori Gardner after she watched the three oldest kids at McDonald's while I took Drew in for his checkup. I laughed at the image this brought, and I thought you'd all enjoy it, too!

Had to share the McDonald's rescue yesterday since normally a play day at McDonald's is pretty uneventful. Pictures are attached.

After each of the lunches were finished, kids were excused to go play on the play equipment. All three took off shedding shoes & socks, then climbing, sliding, crawling, and climbing some more. Eventually I saw Grant and Emma coming down the slide, but no Ben. Just as I was about to ask Emma if she knew where her brother was, a little voice softly called out from the top, highest level in the play area, surrounded in mesh. "Grandmaaaaaaaa" drew my attention and a young father nearby looked at me and said, "I think it's one of yours." I could only see this blonde haired child with a face smashed against the (germy) mesh and his little fingers hanging on like a monkey in the zoo. I called out to Ben and asked if he was stuck. "Uhuh" he answered, then I asked "Do you need help?", and he answered, "Uhuh".

At that point I grabbed Emma and told her that Grandma needed her to go to the top and rescue Ben. She quickly scurried up the multi-levels and once she reached Ben, she attempted to assist in his removal. Ben started hollering and resisting her help. Emma called down, "He won't let me!", all the while drawing a larger focus by other adults, on the stuck child at the top. I looked around to see if there were any older children that could help with the understanding that Ben didn't want to come down with the assistance of another child, but wanted Grandma to come up to help, and couldn't. Each time Ben called out from the top in his pitiful "Grandmaaaaaa" I was imagining shedding my shoes, and then planning my strategy for the shortest route up and the fastest one down. I could see the slide entrance was only one level down from Ben and if Emma could just get him to that tier, he could exit smoothly. Soooo...... One last time, I sent Emma to the top. The instructions were, "Grab his ankle and just pull until he slides off the top to the next level down. Do it gently, but don't stop until he can reach the slide entrance." Emma looked at me puzzled as if she had never hear such orders given to aggressively wrestle her sibling. "But Grandma, Ben keeps kicking."

So Grandma gave her a hug and said, "It will only last for a minute if you do it fast and you need to let him know you are trying to help."

Emma headed for the top... again, and grabbed Ben by the ankle and started pulling. Several adults laughed as a screaming three year old was trying to hang on for dear life, and a persistent 5 year old was following the orders of Grandma with an intent to accomplish a goal. She kept yelling, "I'm trying to help you Ben!" and Ben's resistance would get louder. As the hollering stopped, I called up, "Did you get him?", not seeing either of them for a moment, and then a proud voice answered, "Yep, I got him Grandma!"

And just a moment later to my relief, Emma and Ben came spitting out the bottom of the slide. Emma was proud of her accomplishment, and Ben was ready for a hug and assurance that he was okay and that maybe he shouldn't climb so high ... just yet. Parents cheered and everyone went back to their Happy Meals and McCafe's.

Ohhhhh .....the joy of Grandmahood!

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This was created by MckMama, head on over to her blog to see what she and everyone else have NOT been doing this week!

We do NOT have a household of sickies. We did NOT spend the weekend cleaning up a couple of piles of puke, and reminding kids over and over (and over) to cover their coughs. We did NOT decide last night to opt out of a family gathering so as to try and not infect the rest of our family with our germs, even though the puking had ceased and we all seemed to be on the mend. Nope, we are NOT that responsible!

So there is certainly NO WAY we decided that we were too sick to hang out with family, but well enough to take the kids out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. I mean, we would NEVER take coughing children out in public, just because we have a coupon and very little groceries. NEVER.

And while we were there, we did NOT run into another family member who was skipping out on the family gathering, without the excuse of being sick. This family member shall remain nameless. (But we know who you are! Buuuuaaaahahahahaha! OK, I don't know why I just did the big evil laugh. It just seemed to fit.)

We did NOT have a certificate from restaurants.com for $25 off a purchase of $35 or more. Marty did NOT think it was off a purchase of $50 or more, so he did NOT keep telling me we needed to order more food. I was NOT so tired that I could not figure out for myself that two appetizers, two adult meals and three kids meals were going to be well over the $35 mark, and that they were not necessary. NOPE, I can do basic math and that would NEVER be a problem.

We did NOT decide that it was fine that we spent so much, as this might be our last meal out as a family for a long time. You know, depending on if the mechanic says Marty's car is fixable or not, and how much this new repair will eat into our tax return.

I did NOT go to the cupboard this morning to get myself a granola bar, only to find the cupboard without granola bars. Which is strange, since I bough three boxes at the grocery store last night. I did NOT then go through the evening in my mind, and realize that we went out to dinner, then to the grocery store, then the gas station, then another gas station because I forgot to get a paper at the last one, then another place since the gas station was out of papers, and by the time we got home it was past the kids' bedtime and we did NOT completely forget the groceries in the van.

I did NOT then call my husband, who has the van because his car is in the shop, and inform him of our mistake. Even though it is the middle of winter, I did NOT check the overnight temps because it has been hovering near 50 and would not be cold enough to handle the refrigerated stuff. I am sure his co-workers are NOT going to laugh at him as he brings six gallons of milk in the office to put in the work fridge instead of letting them spoil in the van all day.

I do NOT still want a granola bar.

What did you NOT do this week?