Not Me! Monday!

Hello loyal readers! Here is the second edition of Not Me! Monday!



1. I was NOT feeling so crummy last week with mastitis that I let my kids eat cereal for dinner. And I certainly did NOT tell my four year old that as a reward for listening, she would get to fix dinner herself, then let her have free reign in the kitchen so I could stay on the couch, feeling like I was hit by a truck.

2. I also did NOT let my kids watch TV all day long without stop, in an attempt to keep them distracted so I did not have to entertain them. Nope, I am a much better parent than that, even when I am sick.

3. While fixing lunch today, I made soup and toasted bagels for the kids. I put the bagels under the broiler, thinking, "I cannot forget these and have them burn. Must remember the bagels!" I did NOT forget them to the extent that I smelled something burning, and instead of thinking, "the bagels!" I assumed there must have been some spilled food on the burner of the stove and stood there, staring at the stove and oven until smoke became visible. No way am I that sleep deprived and/or crazy.

4. I did NOT forget to change my clothes and paint the twins' bedroom while wearing my favorite shirt and one of the only two pairs of jeans that fit right now. (But while not doing this, I did keep my clothes clean!)

5. Instead of buying cards for each other this Valentines day, we did NOT just go pick out the card we wanted to get the other and take a picture of the message with our camera-phones and put it back to save the $12 it costs now a days for two cards. That would be horribly pathetic and bordering on copyright fraud, or something like that.

6. While at Target yesterday, I did NOT feel the need to sneak up on Marty and bump him in the rear with the cart. I did NOT accidentally hit his heel instead, causing him to say that his rear must be getting smaller, since I missed the intended target. Emma did NOT look right at him and say "No it's not, Daddy," effectively deflating his ego and causing me to laugh so hard that people stopped and stared. And most importantly, I did NOT just blog about the incident, even though Marty followed me through Target, saying, "You're not going to blog about that one, right? Honey?"

Don't forget to check out MckMama's blog for more Not Me! Monday! fun!

Love Is In The Air! And Other Stuff.

Happy week after Valentines Day! I have been working on this post since Saturday. Don't get your hopes up, it's not because it is going to be super-cool, just because I was busy and never finished it. I had a great Valentine's day, though. Saturday my wonderful husband gave me the best gift ever, the chance to sleep in! Well, I think the best gift ever might be a winning lotto ticket, but sleeping in is definitely in the top five. We went cheap for gifts this year, since we are broke. We never do much, Marty always gives me chocolate and flowers, and we do cards. This year I decided I would rather have a pretty potted flower that I can keep in the windowsill of my kitchen and will last a while. I don't know what kind it is, but it had cute little orange flowers and I love it!


Mom and Wayne offered to come watch the kiddos so we could get out for a bit between Drew's feedings. We went just down the road to Bob's Burger and Brew ( I know, romantic right?) since it was close and we figured it would not be a huge wait. The food was good, and it was nice to be out alone. We decided that Marty could not talk about work or fantasy sports, and I could not talk about the kids. So we sat in silence for a while and decided we needed to spend more time together, since there was nothing else to talk about. Pretty pathetic, huh?

Yesterday we went to church for the first time since Drew was born. I was so excited! We go to a huge church with 4,000 people in weekly attendance. The whole family goes there so we all sit together. Yesterday everyone in the family, for one reason or another was not there. Marty was ushering, so Drew and I sat by ourselves. When we were greeting each other, a nice lady saw Drew and said, "What a cute baby. How old is he?" "Six weeks tomorrow!" "Oh, good for you for making it here!" I stopped myself from saying, "lady, you have no idea!" and I just smiled at her instead.

After church we went to Target, then home. That's it, church, Target, home. And we took kids in and out of car seats 24 times. That puts a whole new spin on running a couple of quick errands! Anywhoo, after we got home we put the boys down for a nap in our room and I finished painting the twins' bedroom! Yee-ha! I still have a little finishing work to do on it, but for the most part it is done. And-I think I have picked out the paint I want for the kitchen and living room, too. I had decided to spend my Christmas money on paint this year, since I look at these walls all day every day and white is depressing. I need pretty colors! I have no idea when I will be able to paint though, since spare time is not something I have in excess.

Well, my children are fighting, so I'd better sign off. Look for Not Me! Monday! coming later today!

Who Needs Sleep?!?

Yesterday I was starting to feel better. My fever had broken, and although I was a little loopy (don't believe me? Read my last post. Holy cow, it's a little odd.) I was feeling good. I found the original version of Annie on OnDemand and put it on for the kids. I thought Emma would love it, and she did. She sat on the couch and did not move for the entire movie. This is very unusual for any of my kids to sit still for more than a few minutes, so after and hour I went over to check on her and she was burning up. Oh yeah, 102.8*. Wowsers.

I let her stay on the couch all day, she watched Annie three times. I must say, I was shocked at some of the language there. Miss Hannigan, who is played by Carol Burnett, is a little tramp and says some really suggestive things. I do not remember this as a kid, of course, since it is all over a child's head, but I could not believe what I was hearing. It's amazing what they got away with in the era of supposed innocence.

Drew has been fussy, and the combo of my antibiotics and his thrush medication is making him cranky and wanting to eat to calm him. Unfortunately, the combo of my cold and the mastitis has drained me so that I am not making as much milk. The combo of a baby who wants more and a mommy who has less is not going well.

I am doing what I can to increase my milk supply. I am going to drink a gallon of water today, and try to eat as much good food as possible. I know I need rest as well, so I made the attempt to go to bed at 10:30 last night. Mr. Drew continued to fuss off and on pretty late. No sleep for me, but at least I had the chance to finish the book I was reading, so I didn't mind. Luckily, I was still awake at 1:15 to hear the first, quiet "Mommy, Daddy!" coming from Emma's room, which meant I was able to get there in time to catch most of her throw up before she covered all her bedding. She as sleeping in a tent on her floor, so I was grateful for the lack of throw upon the tent itself. We got her cleaned up, properly consoled and moved into her bed. I fed Drew again and at 1:52 tried to sleep. It was not the sleep that brings about rest, however, because in my slumber I dreamed of Emma continuing to throw up and me continuing to clean her up and move her into clean sleeping areas.

I felt a tickle on my arm. In my semi-asleep state, still thinking I was cleaning up Emma, I brushed it off, and felt that horrid feeling that jolts you awake faster than almost anything else. The feeling of something there, something squishing between your hand and your arm. I managed to turn the light on to find a half squished earwig. I personally think earwigs are the creepiest of all the house-dwelling insects, and to have one crawling up my arm in my own bed, making it's way toward my face and my EAR freaked me out. I still shudder thinking of it. It was 2:08 am, so I had slept for 16 minutes thus far. I used hand sanitizer on my hand and the arm on which he had travelled and lay there wondering, do earwigs travel in packs? Was he the lead earwig, exploring the unfamiliar terrain, while his little pack of follower earwigs were hanging out by my toes waiting for the go-ahead from their devoted leader, who, unbeknownst to them, had not survived the journey? Would there be an earwig retaliation in the night, where the earwigs attack me and crawl up my nose and in my ears?

Fine. I checked all the bedding to make sure he was alone. And from what I could tell in my attempt to calm my nerves while not waking my husband or my son who had FINALLY drifted off to a peaceful sleep, he was a lonely earwig. I lay in bed, trying to sleep, and scratching every imagined tickle I felt for quite a while.

The last time I saw the clock, it was 3:14. Finally, sleep, glorious sleep. Drew awoke to eat, and I brought him into bed with me without waking up, it seems. Then I heard a noise that I did not know what it was, but once again, it freaked me out. It was coming from the floor on my side of the bed, and it was a little scritch, scratch, thump like a small animal on the carpet. We have had mice in our house before, (go HERE to read that story) so I was promptly alert. I looked at the clock. 6:18. However, I did not want to look over the edge of the bed, I think denial can sometimes be better. The scritching and scratching did not stop, and I started to imagine an army of mice attempting to climb my bed skirt to make me realize that earwigs are not the worst thing to crawl on you in the night. I finally looked. Our stupid cat was trying to kill a poor, defenseless q-tip. Throwing it around, batting at it with his claws on our berber carpet, you know, all the things people like to have a cat do, especially at six in the morning.

Since I was feeding Drew, I had to wake Marty up to put the cat out. We had left our door open to hear Emma if she needed us, and had forgotten to shut our bathroom door to keep the cat out of the garbage. He likes to steal q-tips and eat the cotton off the tops. What can I say, our cat is just as crazy as the rest of us.

I did not get back to sleep after that but Marty, wonderful man that he is, has offered to let me sleep in till noon tomorrow of I need to. I am adding this here to put it in writing, so that he cannot back out of his offer, even if his offer was made in the wee hours this morning while he was delirious from sleep deprivation.

Well, it took me three hours to type this post. I'm going to go drink some water and attempt a nap. Watch for next week's Not Me! Monday! I'm sure it's going to be a good one!

I May Regret This One...

I would never have survived living 150 years ago. First of all, without birth control I would have 27 kids by now, and when I got mastitis each time, there would be no lovely drugs to make it all go away. I love drugs. Wait, maybe I shouldn't say that, or someday Marty will run for President and the opposing campaign will quote me out of context. "Potential First Lady admits to loving drugs as a mother of young children! Jerry Springer has the story." Well, if Marty runs for president, I think that would be the least of the country's concerns. His plan to solve the war on terror is to just bomb the entire country of Iraq (he would warn them first, so the civilians could get out) and pave the whole thing and put a Wal-Mart right in the middle, with a sign that says "Brought to you by the U. S. of A.!" Yeah, I know, that is not a good plan. I would not vote for him for president. Love you, honey!

Anywhoo, I am feeling much better today. Not 100%, but definitely well enough to beat my children if necessary. I probably should not admit that one, either. Oh, well.

This morning, I gave the kids cereal and got ready. I was doing my best to get in the shower when I heard screaming. I came out into my room to find Grant had spilled his cereal, and instead of cleaning it up, he was hysterical that Ben was picking up the cereal and putting it in his own cup. Grant is sobbing, "Momma! Cereal! Bubba!" and pointing at Ben, who was working happily away. I simply said, "Grant, pick up your own cereal faster and you won't have to worry about it." I walked away. Someday these boys will need to learn to solve their own problems, right?

Well, Grant solved it. I heard more screaming, and found Ben crying as Grant had stolen his cereal cup, dumped the entire contents into his own, and given Ben back the empty cup. I have to admit, I was a little proud of Grant for his problem-solving skills, but I did give Ben back his half of the cereal and inform Grant that we do not take anyone else's food. I keep reminding myself that these are skills they are learning that will serve them well later in life, and are not purely designed by the devil himself to drive me to the nut house. And not the local, yummy Nut House, where you get to eat food and throw peanut shells on the floor, but the real nut house with the men in white coats that sing, "They're coming to take me away, haha!" I should really quit blogging now, I am not making any sense.

**Disclaimer- This post was written under the influence of drugs. I mean, prescription drugs. You know, the kind that were prescribed to me, not bought off the street. Anyway, I am not responsible for the contents of this post, and do not necessarily agree with the opinions expressed here today. I will completely deny this entire post if ever I or my family become famous and Jerry tries to use this against me. Thank you.

Potato, Potahto

My happy baby Drew is still happy. He is doing well on the thrush medication, and does not seem to have any ill effects because of it. However, I am not doing as well. I have mastitis. If you don't know what mastitis is, good for you, you probably don't want to know. But let me tell you, it's miserable. I have a fever, so I am alternating between being drenched in sweat, and having chills. And I feel like I have been hit by a truck.

This morning, I had the kids in my room with me and I was just laying down and resting. Drew was still asleep in his swing, and the older kids were snuggled up with me, watching a show. Emma was being a little wild, tackling her brothers out of the blue. I explained to her that mommy was sick, and I needed her to calm down and not get the boys riled up. She wanted to play a game. "Mommy, can we play tag you're it in here?" "No, sweetie, that is not a calm game. I need you to either find something calm, or just watch the show, or go into your room or the living room." "Can we play hide and seek in here?" "No, sweetie, that would wake up Drew. Why don't you play with toys?" "OK, Mommy, I will find something to do." A few minutes later, Emma is under the bed saying, "Boys, you can't find me!" Really? This was her find-something-other-than-playing-hide-and-seek? "Emma, what are you doing?" "We are playing Find Emma!" I gave her the Look. "I asked you not to play hide and seek." "Mommy, this is not hide and seek, this is Find Emma. It's a different game."

So it's going to be that kind of day...

Add A Little More Crazy...

Last night was wonderful. Well, after cleaning up the milk on the sofa and on Ben, and getting the kids off to bed. After that, it was pure bliss. Why, you ask? Because for the first time in who knows how long, Drew did not cry and fuss from 10pm to midnight. Holly was teasing me a little that I am so excited that my child had an infection, but I really am thrilled that we discovered it, and are on our way to fixing it which will make a huge difference in our lives. And- are you ready for this one? I had a huge glass of milk last night. That's right, I had dairy and he still had a great night!I am so thrilled by this, every time I have nursed before I have had to eliminate dairy for at leas the first seven months. No butter on your toast, no ranch salad dressing or creamy veggie dip, no butter, sour cream, or cheese in your mashed potatoes, nothing.

I seems almost like God has been saying, "I'm going to give you a surprise. But don't worry, he will be perfect. Compared to what you are used to, you won't even notice he is there." OK, that last part might be a little exaggeration, but I think God has a sense of humor, so He is giggling a little at the joke. The bad part is, it is making me think it would be no problem to have another baby. That lasts for about seven seconds, and then I smack myself for the thought, and remember that 1. my husband has no sperm, and 2. we would most definitely have twins or triplets if we tempted God. Oh, and 3. we would be so incredibly outnumbered it would not be funny. And we would need something bigger than a minivan. And I would need more than one washer and dryer. And we would need more than three bedrooms. And I would need padded walls and one of those cool jackets where I could hug myself all the time. And I might start drinking.

I am off to try and accomplish things today. Happy Tuesday!

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This is something I have been reading a lot around the blogosphere. It gives us the opportunity to share our lows, while pretending it was not us that were less than perfect. Cuz, you know, I aim for perfection around here. Anyway, I have been thinking about starting, but now I am swayed by the fact that there are now prizes for giving it a go. Here's the first installment of Still Seeking Sanity's Not Me! Monday!


In an attempt to get out the door today and finding I had no black socks, I did NOT just steal a pair from my hubby's drawer instead of trying to find a matching pair of my own out of the sock bin. Lazy? Maybe. Resourceful? Oh, yeah!

I have NOT fed my kids some cheese every day for lunch since I gave up dairy, just to watch the lovely cheese fall in nice even slices as I cut it, and certainly NOT so I can just smell it. Just a little.

The boys are NOT currently just in a shirt and diaper, since they spilled dinner on their pants and in an attempt to keep laundry from completely overtaking the house, we did NOT decide to let them go until bedtime with no pants.

Grant did NOT just walk up to me, his diaper in hand, while I am blogging and nursing Drew. I did, however, one-handedly put the diaper back on. Grant does NOT have a diaper wedgie cause I cannot get it straight with one hand. And I did NOT just pray, "Dear God, please do not let him poop in the next ten minutes. Please! Amen."

Grant must have immediately gotten his diaper re-attached and made a beeline or the kitchen table, where he got ahold of Emma's milk from dinner and for fun, threw it at Ben's face. Ben was standing in front of the couch, so the couch was just covered in milk. I detached Drew from his dinner, and put him down while I got a hold of the cup and cleaned up the mess. While I was scrubbing milk out of our white couch, Emma (who was told to put her milk out of reach of the boys in the first place but did not do it,) came up to me and said, "Mom, you promised wen you were done feeding Drew you would read to me! And YOU'RE NOT READING!" I did NOT then give my four year old the evil eye and yell at her. Nope, not me.

Alright, I have to quit blogging or Grant just might burn the house down. Hope you enjoyed this installment of Not Me! Monday, and I will try to do it again, you know, if I ever can keep the days of the week straight.