Thursday, March 3, 2011

Trials and Tribulations of C. C. D. G.

I think I have mentioned in the past that I am completely in love with Costco.

I love all the great stuff, being able to buy food cheaper, and now that we have the size family we do, being able to buy food in the quantities we need. A bundle of five dozen eggs? I'll take two!

Also, their hot dog-and-a-soda-for-$1.50 is fantastic for our family. We can barely eat at home that cheap, and the kids love it.

But the best part of Costco is their little girl holiday dresses.

Oh, let me tell you, these dresses are wonderful. Every Christmas and Easter, they have a great selection of well made, adorable, floofy dresses that make the little girl in me swoon, and makes my daughter beg, plead, and bat her eyelashes that she can get the dress of her dreams.

Truly, the best dresses you will find. Mucho bonus points for the fact that they are less than $20, compared to the $30-$80 of the other stores.


Every year, Holly and I buy our daughters Costco dresses. The girls love it because we can pick out similar styles but not have the girls be matchy-matchy. We call each other from Costco: "The dresses are in! I got the red one with long sleeves!"

There is one thing we are not as fond of in the whole Costco-Christmas dress-adventure, and that is the introduction of Costco-Christmas-Dress-Glitter into our homes. Now, this is not the normal amount of glitter that comes on a glittery-little-girl dress, this glitter is, well, Costco-sized.

Costco Christmas Dress Glitter will now, forevermore, be dubbed C. C. D. G. Mainly because I'm too lazy to type that out.

The first time your darling child dons one of these amazingly beautiful creations, she will spin and twirl and dance like the beautiful fairy tale princess she is. And, almost like a fairy tale, C. C. D. G. will fall from the dress, leaving a trail wherever she goes.

Seriously. The floor will look like Tinkerbell and the Tooth Fairy got in a catfight, and the ensuing scuffle between these two nemesises (nemesi?) left a trail of horror everywhere, till you find the place that your child sat on the ground and rolled around a little Tinkerbell exploded and died, disappearing into a mass of glitter.

It will be everywhere, and last for months. It's worse then those ridiculous birthday cards that some annoying and insensitive people put confetti in, so that you open it and all this confetti falls out and scatters, and no matter how well you clean it up, you will find little pink hearts in random places for months, if not years.

A-hem. Anywhoo.

We have tired a lot of ideas. Washing the dress first works well, but the glitter will still be everywhere. Last Christmas, Emma wore her cousin Lily's dress from last year, in the hopes that the glitter that was going to release from the dress would have already done so. It didn't work.

When we go to my parent's house for Christmas dinner, we have an incredibly wonderful formal dinner. It's lovely, it's insanely delicious, and it's fun to be able to use the nice china and drink from a water goblet. And by the end of dinner, where your children are learning to keep their napkin in their lap, and occasionally wipe their mouth with it, you will have a child whose napkin from-the-lap-to-the-face routine will result in a face that is covered in Costco Christmas Dress Glitter. There will also be some C. C. D. G. on the face of the boy who is across the table and three seats down. I don't know how that happens. The Glitter has magical powers. Maybe it's the result of a curse from killing Tinkerbell, I don't know.

Costco needs to either make more dresses without glitter, or I need to start the fashion of putting clear packaging tape over the dress to begin with, in hopes of containing the C. C. D. G.

Come on, Costco. Help me out here. I think I have some glitter in my eye.


TheOldestStudent said...

Well, they don't call glitter "the herpes of craft supplies" for no reason. It's highly infectious, and you have it forever.

G'pa said...

I just emptied the vacuum bag. I think there is enough glitter for next years dress.

Squirt and Squeakers Mama said...

This made me laugh and giggle. Most of my daughter's dresses are hand-me-downs, so glitter is usually long gone. I guess I have something to look forward to! :D